october 16 - december 31 2001

welcome to the Robertson Chronicles Archive october 16 - december 31 2001 home December 31, 2001 Relationship A correlation or a bond or both...Best when communication becomes specialized... understandings occur... that gives faith, what the spirit needs. I don't need to be distracted from purpose explaining the unnessisary because purpose is the pathway i need to follow... time away from task is best when it is chosen and is intrigued to discover. I reserve the right to remain an idiot... a term used here to describe errant behavior... a gibbering fool so to say.... That is what I will bark through the window of Hey Rocks abode What will become of Roadbed this next year... I watched some live tapes over the holidays... Note to Willingdon Black It is a horrible thing to see your own live footage.... therefore don't watch it...... as a result I have become completely demoralized.... It is time to built the next level of this thing and that starts with better singing, less mic mumbling, more melodic delivery of the hard-core numbers... I need intensive training.... as hard as it will be maybe I should loose the Jackass bit A computer is a wonderful tool... I don't have a chisel... but then again I don't do woodwork. A guitar is a nice ornament for a room December 18, 2001 I was born 32 years ago and i got my bike back today... what if i was not born Hey rock would have an easier less interesting life, but for that matter so would hundreds of others... Carl Fatman would have no consultant, no roadbed, no Knockin' dog, no Jackass has haybreath, no 21 tandem repeats, no forest fires in 1983 in the Highland creek valley, no accidental bomb scares at UWO, the electron microscope wouldn't have been repeatedly broken... many children from Highland creek would have never been traumatized or injured... that treeplanting mess tent never would have blown up... the BBQ on my parents neighbor's deck would have never blown up.... warren and vince could have avoided expensive psychotherapy... the city of Bay City USA would have never had a fertile female tabby cat introduced in 1990 ... and then there are all of those who have been scarred with my nakedness... The justifications: Hey rock has it coming (we are also working on a concept album on Hey Rock and we don't believe in fiction... so there must be actual attacks), Goat moore was a goat before me and the Rev titled him "Lowney Goat" destroying his waning credibility...Fred is to blame for what happened to Raymond... Pete pretty much did it to himself i was just there to commentate... Rev never should have followed me into Rock and Roll (it is a hard pill to swallow)... Willingdon Black has yet to begin to suffer... All the bands nobody has ever heard of anyway so who cares, The forest fire got out of control after David threw 4 Saturday newspapers on it, I never called it a bomb scare it just turned out that way, there was a leaky hose on that BBQ.... Warren and Vince were already on that path and it could be argued I was just a catalyst speeding things up, Buzy jumped from the van in a surprise attack fleeing across the parking lot and into the night, Rock and Roll and nakedness should be all right together... and the people that live across the alley have blinds they can pull or they can move. The key thing is i got my bike back... Good work Vancouver police SR December 17, 2001 yesterday i was predicting great things for myself... and then there was the sleep in..., John Bob Lemmon was always calculating too far ahead... thus when his calculations were in error (which happened to be always) .... it happened that he was living in a future that will never exist. How can that be thought the bemused aging scruffy man..... after a dot dot dot dot he stumbles back upon a reality... but this time a different one... that's why John Bob Lemmon was always moving on because after a while people start seeing who you really are and they get tired of excusing... and as a used car salesman that kind of vibe can be very detrimental December 15, 2001 Christmas shopping .... when put like that they can be the two ugliest words of the English language... Super Robertson has never been a man of consumer crowds... he likes cafeteria's because there is no wait to suffer after his meal... he is an overhearer of conversations and often the ones heard on shopping outings cause instant anger and hatred of this ________ _____. First one to fill in that blank correctly wins a roadbed shirt. Super, I was scanning the Robertson Chronicles tonight for Mule namechecks. I found a couple, and objected to the one with the term "lazy assed" attached. But that's okay; I can take it. Jackass. I've been working hard, getting my name in print on many an occasion, trying to amuse the student body of Douglas College with what I think about certain types of music. It all falls on deaf ears, I'm afraid. Now I'm done for the holidays. I'm having a *****Sensored****** in a remote location very soon, then it's severed fir trees in living rooms, shopping, fa-la-la-la-la, stockings hung by the chimney with care, nieces, nephews, booze, large domesticated fowl lovingly browned in the oven, and general blissville for the Mule. I want to rant about hypocrites. Hippies. Hippie pricks who write about overthrowing capitalism and creating "sustainable" lifestyles, but basically just want to get high all the time and do the old dine-and-dash. Happened last night at an establishment that I frequent, where a vague acquaintance, a classmate, who writes incomprehensible diatribes of self-righteous shit (you know, let's build skyscrapers out of hemp, let's run our cars on hemp, let's eat grilled-hemp sandwiches for lunch) decided to skip out on the bill. Fuck you. Find a mirror, face it, open your eyes, and then determine what you should be overthrowing. I suggest you start with your rotten, decaying soul. Thank you, Super, for this opportunity. Have a nice day! Mule. Mail bags must be heavy this time of year. Knockin' dog has a song called the last hurrah with the line " and it does bother me to buy a sandwich for the homeless flower nation when I'm buggin about my own generation" Rev Dick Badcock wrote that... that guy can write A brilliant mind cursed with a penchant for overanalyzes, self righteousness, and the inability to listen.... one of my very best friends.... our kinship marred with the horror of a rock and roll band gone all wrong. We went out and died together....It was during that time that i learned a thing or two about Vancouver music scene... and why it will always fail.... there needs to be a severe uprooting and some need to be run out of town... but in the end it becomes a weak cause to champion. December 14, 2001 A good Hey Rock attack tonight.... Shockk and I burst in and suckered Hey Rock to come into the kitchen...and when he got in the hall we jumped him an came within inches of a merry swirley.. I had him by the feet... shock was administering a headlock the sink was running... the Vo bro's understood that this was necessary... the other guests seemed troubled by the change in tone.... you know the way the violence coefficient went through the roof.. Our mistakes ARe 2... firstly we should have unlocked the back door and we had him in the shower we should have hit him with some icy water. December 13, 2001 I will never understand why when stoke played the roller arena I was the only one (in our crew) racing around the roller rink on rented skates when they opened with Plaid porn.... and at the end of the show I still cant figure out why it was said to me " Super you missed the show you jackass"... Just thinking about the whole experience of performance, music and the idea of really being there. When this happened I was not angry no am I now... I know I was there loving every second of the experience. Other more affecting aspects of this line of thought... often make me feel a sudden angry irritation caused by a desperate awareness of the opportunity being lost... but i have learned (still have relapses) that when the ship starts going down start thinking lifeboat..... Use the turn in the situation to your artistic advantage... I find a good way to release hate is in small poems you have a small mind and a jack ass i don't like you and i never did what does that make me an idiot that is my turn around poem.... from within the problem you solve the problem by remembering trends and predicting outcomes.... as you get better you find you begin to live more efficiently As i wrote the word efficiently i looked around my room and truly realized that i should not be granted permission to use that word.... breath is the foundation of life December 11, 2001 My bike By King Super Robertson I believe it was June when I went down to Westside located at Burrard and 4th in Vancouver B.C. The bus strike was on and due to a series of disasters I was in desperate need of transportation. I saw this blue and yellow K2 bike on sale for $699 and I thought now thatÕs a sharp looking bikeÉ Yellow RST front shocks, a blue frame, a black seat with yellow trim (and the seat post has a spring shock) and the wheels were black-rimmed shimanno. So I bought it and rode away angry with myself for impulse buying. It had V brakes (lacking a triangular pulley system), and shimano gear shifters that operated by turning a ring on the handlebars. One of the best things about the system of gear shifting was that in the side with three gears there were 3 settings for each so you could fine tune and correct annoying chain rubbing noise. There were no fenders on my bikeÉ I was going to get some. It had an aluminum frame and knobby tires I took the bike to work and they guys teased me because there was a sticker on the crotch bar that said ZED, meaning to them I got it at Zellers with club zed points. The bike came with toe clips but I took them off leaving simple metal pedals. I remember it had a sticker saying frame size Òextra bigÓ; the fork shocks are very soft. It is a big bike when I sit on it my elbows are basically straight É there is a large black component attaching the handlebars to the bike. The big question is why do I no longer have the receipt. And the answer lies in the fact that after riding it for 20 days the front wheel became way out of trueÉ and when I took it back with my receipt to get my Free tune up. They wanted to charge meÉ it was at this time I sensed a general incompetence with respect to their bike repair abilities. So I left and went up to Cyclepath on Broadway near Granville and a mechanic fixed the problem for $10. He also said that the wheel is not perfectly straight. Sometime during that day I parted company with my receipt. On that fateful night of October 9 2001 I rode down to the Railway Club (located at the corner of Dunsmuir and Seymour) locked up my bike outside by the 7-11 and went in to see a band called Tomas. When I walked home that night I had the opportunity to mull over and accept the fact that my bike had been stolen, and I had no receipt, so I said my goodbyes to the bike I had for the summer of 2001. The police found my bike... they needed a description of what the bike looked like and the circumstances under how it came and left me... so I shocked them one of these Today's disaster was this I took a puck off the palm of the hand and it has now swelled up to the size of a small dog... very painful don"t poke at that leopard... i often like to annoy people... i have good conflict resolution skills December 10, 2001 Life is quiet... kind of still ... there must be a disaster looming around the corner... or more likely the disaster has already occurred and it just needs some time to go unnoticed so that it can become completely irreversible... and when it does how will it get me... what shreds of me will be left to face the post disaster era. The real problem is this... thing are going so smoothly that i find myself out of my element... I am the kind of person who thrives in chaos.... Maybe if i set the house on fire and wait till its at that point where only an expert could put out the blaze before structural damage becomes absolute.. That's a bad idea..... when i was a teen we use to play this game... who could swim in the raging river and get out the closest to the waterfall.... the late Bobby Johnson beat me and then we were no longer allowed to play and i faced a lecture with questions like "what in gods name do you think you were doing" .... It was worse than the Time i Broke Fred's collarbone with a out of bounds flying tackle in a good old game of British bulldog. Come to think of it I have broken a lot of peoples bones... all accidental of course.... I am a pacifist and will only fight if there is no option left... so by the time there are no options left i am usually angry and ready to strike fast a series of delusions all of them insignificant on their own terms but together making up a lifetime... and with that the exercise is complete December 9, 2001 Money is not the root of all evil... evil can exist without money involved... Is love the opposite of evil... I say no.. it may be the negative though... but what i really think is that the whole thing is cornfed. Sometimes i think it is good to hate and that through feeling hate you see its futility. But then one with a heart full of hate lives a tragic unfulfilled life. Don't be that person but we do all need money so get what you can spend wisely and live well.... December 8, 2001 My mothers birthday today... a salesman just phoned something about a new communication bundle... a fight in the hockey game... two giants with poor balance... big swings no blood.. a commercial says "it pays to shop online" is that a oxymoron my laundry should be done now... Irene does not work today... realize everything but what does that really mean and how can i apply it December 7, 2001 write something...Boo... what does that mean.... the humanitarian and earthly philosophy crosses a hard road .. money and in the wreckage nothing is ever the same... it was good that she came in ...Suddenly that turn in the road we were all waiting for to play out like a movie... But what is not like a movie movies are fiction, drama, documentary, comedy, reality...... so anything can be a movie.... once again we see the futility of trying to pull off an obvious simile... weak like burnt steel and decalcified sea shell December 5, 2001 Life is a test a journey and many other things that don't come to me immediately. That consistency gives me the steady balance... would the summary statement be DEAL DIFFERENTLY ALWAYS... and is it really worth barking through the broken window of Hey Rocks room on a crisp January morning... while the heavy head of a career drunkard struggles for a moment of peace in this broken world. Tweet and honk will go the noise makers and it wont be funny anymore... that's all right nothing like a little inferno to change the subject.. the jackass becomes the hero until the forensic evidence weighs in making earlier statements laughable. Maybe I 'll just put some Dog Protein in his coffee.. "wakey wakey old buddy hey Rock gotcha a nice morning coffee.... that's right drink up... it will make your coat shiny".. what mumble mumble he will say and I will riffle through his wallet taking any loose bills... then maybe a small controlled bedroom fire a "wastebasket warmer". Then give him a "HEY ROCK you started a fire in your sleep... drink your coffee and get it together!".... And then a speech about the importance of a good caffeine attack to cure a hangover and this must be done immediately. By then there will be too much smoke in his room therefore remember the placement of the coffee before vision is impaired too much.. and bring it out into the other room for a post "wastebasket warmer" sip and then a supervised glug or two December 4, 2001 12:10 am just so you know that there is no slackassery around this joint. I wonder if the sausages i just ate will help me to become violently ill tomorrow... that would be an unacceptable consequence... food poisoning is not the kind of thing that you get an option to turn down once the food is in the gullet... better suck back some serious rum just to be on the safe side... hallucinogens work on the stomach right.... time for a little Uncle Robertson's stomach tonic..... Much later... things are getting very weird there is motion where there was none before... spirit gods or just chemical reactions.. is there time for a sacrifice and where do you find a virgin in east van ... voices are singing nice melodies and comical lines like "if there was anything i could have ever meant to do the reasons i didn't i blame on you, and your lack of direction and support random causes" things get a little lost around the your lack of direction bit but that somehow gives power to the support random causes line... Am i asleep.. ouch that pinch hurt But back the next day after a nap attack... I must go do some sea bass research... unfortunate for me because motorcycle man plays in the shindig finals tonight... Carl Fatman is in town and i told him he can crash in my pad... he will let me know how the motorcycle man show. December 2, 2001 Sunday comes every week... and here i am plumb in the middle of it.. just had a little super robertson vs mp3.com session I believe i uploaded late for work... why that song? because it is short and an uploading failure would take less time. So the result will be that that song will be downloadable on MP3.com... time is the hunter and it will show the truth. How about Time is the hunter and it will slow the truth... the truth can change with time as things are realized... philosophical truths that is... it is true that i believed in Santa Claus when i was a kid and time changed that truth. It was true that in 1994 i could not play the drums... time has given me the opportunity to change that truth (keep dreaming that dream is what Shockk would say if he were here right now and had opportunity to answer that statement) but the truth is very real and not something you want to make a habit of turning your back on... do as i say and not what i do... helps elude to the irony of me making statements like this but it is my belief that i am able to operated in multiple realities at one time.... How well does he operate... the question begs... It becomes meaningless And later as our hero sips his before bed beer (with a shot of lemon for health reasons) and ponders the mysteries of life.. But is there much mystery now that everything can be calculated in terms of probability... and now that we know what causes hallucinations... or at least some things that can induce them... Is enlightenment overrated.. And the answer is yes especially for those that desperately crave it as a trained response to go with the general trends of the populus... Me i like to know when i am subscribing to madness... some of my ideas have been ridiculous at best but they really didn't have an impact on my life besides the small failure that was caused and then forgotten about. Like the time i thought "yea I can go door to door selling ski lift coupon's"... and 2 hours later when i had given my new boss the slip i was back at home watching Magnum P.I. ... it was the one where magnum goes for a football catch and in the process takes out one of Robin Masters prize bushes... fortunately Higgins happened to be standing there to say "OH MY GOD!" ... I don't watch television as a habit... I do like to catch the Leafs on Hockey night in Canada and I will watch the Simpsons if it is on downstairs when i am eating. Other facts that should be cleared up are normally i don't have a "before bed beer" and that is all i drank today (for alcohol). Took some slack for my new years resolution being to drink more... but that was more for the purposes of getting out and being social more than before which was really never last year but there were other greater problems last year... problems that could gnaw the brain in an instant .. but hey like Keith i like a challenge My beer is done and without getting out of my chair I have managed a rum and coke.. Its 11:39 Sunday evening and I work early in the morning... I think the real thing is I suffered a great headache on Saturday (a little flare up from the time I got my skull broken by some hoodlum's) and now i feel good and alert and articulate and i am not ready top go down for another work week... I never call in sick... I come from the old school you got a job to do do it... unless of course i am deathly ill... If i am hungover i go to work to punish myself for being a jackass... not to mention you will wear off the hangover more quickly... I will hydrate All you need is love... but i think that you need common sense too, and an understanding of the foundations of life and your place in it so that you can direct that love to the right places December 1, 2001 The math indicates that i will get soaked when it comes to mechanical endeavors but no time for bitterness now... must concentrate on the future... never a dull moment in things that have yet to happen... but then a dull moment as i sit dumbfounded not sure what to say... Writers block... they say just write anything get in a flow and you will find that thing will become more natural with time... why waste time with the same old stuff... it's called rudiments and it is the foundation of skill. Nobody ever gets good at anything that they do not practice. Thinking about is good but it will not do entirely... One is not born with a deadly wrist shot It must be honed rehearsed and then ready for the big overtime period... And in music it is the songs you skill in delivery that creates greatness both need to be practiced and built upon... right JR. JR plays in Klagg and tried to tell Carl Fatman on night that by not practicing he is a better writer... the point was that by visiting the fretboard infrequently it is always fresh for him... now there is some truth in this but in reality there is more slackassery in that. A wise man would spend time playing drums and piano and then go back to bass of guitar and achieve the same "fresh new vibe" but yet have developed music skills that will be of great benefit. The bottom line ... you gotta love doing it or it will be a miserable run. November 30, 2001 Thinking about my upcoming oil change... Think this Robertson drinking a coffee reading a paper saying things like... no thanks I think I'll pass on an engine flushing and just stick with an oil change... yea don't worry about those lights out I'll fix them when i get home... The math indicates I would save $5 by doing it myself in the back alley where some of the oil residue from 3 years ago still resides... what could possibly go wrong with an oil change? a quick list would reveal 1) a cut hand 2) a strained wrist ligament 3) 2 rubber seals on the oil filter buckling together giving the illusion of a tight fit but actually leaving gaping holes that will spray oil everywhere once the car has started up 4) a nervous breakdown 5)A depressive heavy drinking session bringing on a monster hangover.. Inducing vomiting.. Contributing to a dislocated lumbar vertebrae..... there are more but lets take that as a dollar a reason and throw in a coffee and a newspaper and a record of the mileage on a small sticker and you got my business..... And to anybody who thinks that i am less a man because i can't do it myself I say you are correct.... That said have a date tonight (taking her to see STOKE .....I scored tickets earlier today using my rock and roll influence) Later SR November 29, 2001 this recording goes out to all of the music people i know and deal with... one of it's purposes is to act like a spark to the powder keg that is our collective potential... in the process i hope it brings a smile to your face... SR Rent soon due The premiums of living in this world..... but the advantages... lets face it there is no going back... how many in toady's society could survive life like the pioneers of yesteryear... not that there is any territory left to pioneer...know what I'm saying... Here is some comedy.. In a neighborhood i frequent i see many welfare recipients drinking coffee raging on about how society is all wrong in between Ideas of all of the multimillion dollar business they are about to start up tomorrow... they got it all figured out just waiting for someone to tell it to... I myself was on welfare for two months... I had an out of body experience in the office of the welfare officer as he said "you do realize quitting your job is a ridiculous reason for getting welfare... we won't deny you..." that was B.C in 1993... what was my job... stereo salesman... I was not a good stereo salesman ... lets just say i was bad at every aspect of the job.. And i worked 6 days a week 12 hours on Thursday.. And my boss referred to me as a failure and i had no time to look for another job.... I said something like that but by that time i was out of body... levitated above the room looking down on myself and my good welfare officer ... two months later i began paying taxes and have done so ever since. I'm not trying to sound like a goodie two shoes jackass I just want to justify the original comedy... Good night Love and be loved, stretch and be limber, relax and you will find what you need. November 28, 2001 The elements of a misunderstanding can be massive... and the consequences can be life altering.. is it all part of destiny. As i get older i believe more in destiny. When i was young my parents thought that i would be a hockey player, I didn't even start playing music until i was 20... at that time i was on my way to becoming some kind of Cell biologist. The real question is how did i get here in this room atop a house full of drunkard Frenchmen nipping away at various projects... It must be destiny because all that i have gone through i carry with me as necessary tools for my crafts. It appears that I have found the woman whom i am to share love with. Am i through with misunderstanding.. Lets look deeper.. Am I through with mumbling... no, am I through with irrational quick decisions... no, actually lets skip this exercise. Dental Floss... gets the 20 % of plaque that causes 80% of the cavities.... These were the words spoken to me in "the chair" ... When you are in "the chair" your senses are highly alert.. So alert in fact that you can hear the instruments being picked up... all the time thinking "what's that why do you need that"... and when the dentist stay's on one tooth and pokes it asking "does that hurt" and you answer no but your voice breaks because your whole body becomes paralyzed with a sharp pain. I am good with sounds and can imitate a dentist drill very precisely.... This comes in handy for really bugging people with upcoming appointments..... There was a particular grad student working in a lab with me at one time who had to go and get drilled I gave him a few "vvvvvhhh, vvvvvhhhh" and he dropped his pipette (an instrument used to measure very small amounts of liquid) and actually began to sweat,, NO NO NO don't do that he pleaded... I did the old wait a half hour until he was in the middle of another delicate procedure..... the sounds were vvvvhhh vvvvvhhh smash fuck you asshole slam (the door). I always take things too far I poke until they attack or better yet break down.... I am getting older and these incidences are becoming rarer and used mainly as a form of retaliating.. with the exception of my sport of Hey Rock abuse. November 27, 2001 Today is the 27 th of November... and i start today with an obvious statement... the only real question is why... that is the question i was asked about a year ago when I went to go to a free show at the commodore, and the question was posed with respect to my choice of wardrobe... what id did was it made me conscious of a fact that i had been oblivious to at the time because the answer was that there was no real reason at all. It goes back to all of those times when i sat in the principals office... him asking Why and me not having a satisfactory answer... My mom and dad would say "for heaven sakes why?" again i had no answer ... when i got naked on stage my girlfriend and bandmates had this to offer "what the hell was that all about?"... actually the Rev Dick Badcock understood that it was necessary to draw attention away from how poorly we played... but the other times we played good... so "why?"... I refuse to think every action through is the real answer.... and it is to keep things fresh and interesting... I am a self entertainer, an end to end rusher, a bugger ..... As my friend Keith said after describing the mess he has made of his life... "I like a challenge"... It may also have November 26, 2001 Is it that snooty people are fat, or do they just appear that way because you want to see negative in them... Not to say that Fat is negative... One of Vancouver's Premier journalists is fat, but he is a good guy, with keen insights, and razor sharp articulations. So i am delivering the mail to this apartment complex, and some well to do middle aged snooty fat ass gives me the old "your late, I'm just going to grab my mail!" an proceeds to reach in (when the mail is being delivered the mailman has a separate entrance)... this allows access to all mailboxes... clearly you can see why it is a federal offense to do what our Miss. Snooty tries to do. It's the attitude that really gets me, she may as well say "well you're just a shitass and I am truly of upper class so trouble me no further".... That's why i went with "hey your not the same person that i let reach in that box and take out those Government cheques on Friday"... that got her going she gives me "YOU DID WHAT>>> THIS IS MY MAILBOX!", then i give her "what am i suppose to do stop every self centered simpleton jackass who wants to reach in because they are too important to wait 2 minutes" ... Boy was she mad at me it was beautiful... it happened before in Richmond and the man phoned in to complain... "You will never work in this town again" were his last words.. He did phone in and my supervisor commended me on a job well done. In other news I have been asked to go to a public school class and speak about life in a rock and roll band... this will be a heavy task for me.... I don't want to be responsible for inspiring the sure ruin of some innocent children.... what if we were to talk about modern radio and my place in it... I think that this will be one of those Robertson clarifying moments... Bring a guitar and play What's in the bag .. an old Knockin' Dog classic.. Maybe the Shockey shock a Beggars original... Time is the hunter and it will show the truth November 25, 2001 And a very good Sunday morning to you Robertson... a hot shower a sleep in and other activities that will be censored out of these writings.. The tree outside my window is alive with birds, i myself need caffeine, nuthatch. In the beginning there are always wild expectations and when it is over it can seem ordinary... what is this i speak of, or type of.. how about all of the little things in life that make up life itself... by the way ordinary is not boring in this world... boring is for the blind, those who don't see excitement, even if it becomes ordinary. Take a stage performer, who has been doing it for so long it becomes a reflex.. Watching the Gray Cup... Winnipeg is looking good early in the game, the game has more flow than my daily writing exercise.. At 1/2 time 17-4 stamps over bluebombers.... late in the game 24-19 stamps .. they won 27-19.. I ate a bag of potato chips and am now suffering from junk food induced sluggary... there is a word called a sluggard.. the spell check has given me this....somebody who avoids work or physical exertion (archaic) November 24, 2001 yawn, teary eyed stretch must go get some exercise.. feeling unmotivated must go there is no real alternative.. if not may suffer uncomfortable back tonight that promotes attention deficit, and gives the appearances of nonattentiveness ... the cycle begins now ... and i do feel better, a jam on the horizon. How to attack Willingdon black tonight ... show tunes, i will insist we play show tunes tonight, i will start the evening off with a speech about our commitment to the foundations of music and show ..... these show tunes must include circus beats and Acapulco vocals. melody lines over chord progressions with willingdon black solo vocals. He will be a good sport about this and the pacing back and forth in front of him will be just for show. November 23, 2001 Whist practicing my smoking technique for an upcoming filming i have set my pajamas on fire... they were smoldering i felt the pain but yet still kind of ignored it, i did fan casually at it and then when i looked down there was a burning ring of fire ...... ways to describe a ring of fire 1) travel's like the ripple waves of a drop of water on water 2) smolders quickly 3) I have a wasp in my room ... Wow what a change of atmosphere with that news, the tension had gone off the fuckin map.... the auditory senses listening to the new 21 tandem album ... i will call it nicely odd... focusing on deep breath.. stretch, relax, learn to punctuate November 22, 2001 Irony, the king comedy when used just right.. that means that the stage must be set, the research well laid out. Often times when it works beautifully not all are aware, and continue the struggle against it. Like a small streamlined knapsack who's size is just perfect for the task at hand ... no extra material. Awake is the man jolted by the sudden sting of the telephone no i don't want to buy a newspaper is the response.. and then anger driven by the disillusionment of how mankind arrived to a place like this where disturbances can be so meaningless... what's in the paper today.. We have a new criminal ....An elected official, more are killed, somebody is sewing somebody at a cost to all, arrests, drug busts, the markets are unstable, a sports great is traded... Who's hot who's not November 21, 2001 Work has it that Motorcycle man put on one king hell of a clinic last night... I had to do some sea bass research... Carl Fatman called me on my Carl fatman-o-phone today to keep me informed.. What a great journalist Carl Fatman is.. He can always be found at the happening events... he is my source when i need a good scoop November 20, 2001 Car problems are over.... i don't like saying that.(November 23, 2001 i did jinx myself). I mean that not as a test or a challenge to the transportation gods... As my father always say's "It just costs money" but not having car cost me my bike.. my own stupidity cost me my bike.. This shithole world cost me my bike. In other news my statement about how real men don't need sharp skates, was force fed to me by the end boards as I lost an edge at top speed about 10 feet away from them... came close to doing serious damage... rattled the brain a bit.. No loss eh. November 19, 2001 morning is beautiful....... as is dreaming......... together they are bliss........ now try awake while the critical mind is unconscious........ An excerpt from my writings titled "I have long feared Chiropractors" ..... One of those simple text documents.... just got the computer when i started them writings... I would not go on the Internet until i knew what the hell was going on with my computer .. and then i got ridiculed into it... and then i started emailing. Mule Hughes was a good victim..... he just accepted... others pointed out errors and added scathing disclaimer's... Still having problems away from pen and paper Chicken peck technique cannot keep up with thoughts Cell phone causes unnecessary interruption then all goes to shit They can check spelling but the illiterate can not hide for long espicially when he refuses to censor himself Super Robertson... that was sent on march 27 2001....Worry not, Super Robertson. E-mail is basically just a glorified way of passing notes back and forth in class. It is best composed when fully alert, as we all eventually discover at great cost. Be good to it and it will be good to you. When is your next show? A good evening to you, Rob Broccoli is nice with butter. Was his reply.... what is really funny is that i still have papers all over my desk and room and generally every space of life i regularly inhabit. This is like one of those shows where they can't be bothered to write new stuff so they spent the half hour showing old clips..... some fuckin exercise there is not that much mystery in life, just win the small battles one at a time you will lose some so learn to learn from loss until loss becomes gain, life is a finite unit of time when taken on a personal level,so make some personal gain and open your mind and stop looking for the answers because answers are the type of things that appear when you stop looking... and this is not an excuse to do nothing although an argument could be won by saying so and that will fruit nothing unless you can go with the flow and change you opinion when you don't get your way and you now must go on. November 18, 2001 The reason you want to clarify what time you go on staged is so that people can plan their night effectively.. so when you decide on a band order you can give out promotional material with the correct time... after the promotional material is "out on the streets" it is unacceptable to change the order. Hey Rock fails to understand this, and when he said the order will be changed after the flyers are out.... for some reason that has no ties to the beggars shit can hit the fan... and it did. In retrospect the order was good but that is little consolation for those who came a great distance... only to leave shortly after arrival. You can lead a horse to water... by the time we played though it wasn't that late and the real problem was suffering overreaction's, and the guilt of communication failure among a select group of individuals. Point lost made another one.. I'm not as laid back as I seem and all that is around me is what I choose to see. The greater lesson is one in dealing with adversity because a rock band playing 45 minutes later than originally scheduled is really nothing out of the ordinary.. it would be nice if it wasn't but it would also be nice if the people of the world got along.... this is sarcasm, the dry wit of a cynic festering looking for something to be upset about. Thinking about quitting... just accepting defeat, but i can't..... this is the only road There are so many factors so many small observations. November 17, 2001 waiting for it to come to me Is it words, a person, a noun or some spiritual revelation. Is it happiness or a statement that defeats itself. How about realization.. when it comes will you recognize it, will you be able to spell it, deal with it, accept it, use it for the greater good and not destroy it. Then you take a guy like me... who doesn't even know the rules to break them, whose awkwardness supersedes all other personal aspects. But sometimes makes a good call, has a solid idea, a whole concept that can be bought into.... otherwise described as a team partnership where things are understood..... each understanding is rooted deep within the fabric of the partnership. Work backwards like an ongoing journal of nothing in particular.... and what were the questions.... I think there was one that said what is a website and then something about will this be an enjoyable pursuit for myself. Put it to you this way... I'm glad i never bought stocks in the web, i mean it would be nice to study inane human behavior ... time is better spent reading the classics like king lear, hells angles, catcher in the rye.... And for the other question... I have been writing as a daily exercise and although it haunts and occupies much time i feel productive on a small level which in turn makes me feel good about myself for reasons that are hard to classify. Things to do in the next year.... take it as it comes November 15, 2001 Even with my resolution staying strong into November i have yet to build up an alcohol tolerance.... a day in an uncomfortable painful haze for a half a pitcher of beer. Extreme activity dehydration were probably the main culprits. We keep learning slowly... November 14, 2001 Anderson was getting a haircut.... CT was balancing her day.... I was preparing for the slaughter. Then there was time constraints and a bowel movement. Words need to be sung tonight.... POT winch > engine operated.... you're perfect you fuckin @%$#$, "you know mark, things like that don't happen in a small town, cause chances are you are going to see that person again.... and when you do you might be driving a chevy truck with a nice big POT winch... that could take a door off pretty easily" All of the above happened last week just transferring my notes to digital format. When you hint at things you leave a wide window for misunderstanding.... a straight shooting person is hard to find... it is a trait that is beat out of people under the guise of politeness. It doesn't mean that everything has to be true or proper... it's just a matter of knowing what the hell is going on. The next level is backing up your straight shooting... : 1) will you do the work 2) will you keep up the faith (i.e. will you continue with the said lie) 3) can you allow this deal and not change your level of attachment (will you go to the wall knowing that you may not like it there but you will have the honest satisfaction that at least you know. Can you know all of this and understand all of this and not feel specifically cheated or wronged can you do the job that others need you to do... can you hold them accountable and at the same time maintain a fun working relationship. Growth and lessons.... some are always growing and learning... others covet that... they mimic it and annoy through repeated discussion of the same fuckin thing...... nobody give a shit is not a nice answer to give someone.... so you are silent... and then you are forced to give an answer to the same fuckin question...... It all stems from conversation... what do people like to think of themselves as... well read a personal add... Easy outgoing, into movies, walks, spirituality and good conversation..... lets stop there people like to be outgoing, they like things that are popular everybody likes a good conversationalist... so why not pose like one to find one... practice a common conversation that you think people will enjoy... then have it. What you may find is that the conversation does not go as rehearsed.... breath deeply and stay focused... say things like but before and now... there has been so much growth. But it was me whose heart was broken by humanity when i discovered that once you are an adult... you don't actually know everything... and there are people who carry on like .. shall we say as they do.. it is truly too late to get into that.... I just thought that the world was going to be a place where we worked together for the greater good.... and when i found out that was not the case i turned to comedy as a comfort blanket. Some find me more disturbing than funny.. but that adds to the comedy of those that do. Stretch before your day... and do it gently slowly, listen to your body, love with your heart, think with your mind, laugh with your soul. November 13, 2001 It is just so bizarre, maybe I did that I just spoke those words to myself out loud a I looked on my desk.... I got lightbulbs the other day... and lets just say i can see things that i couldn't before. The soft light is nice but a little yellow.... I like fluorescent lights i like a bright attack... loud colours and sunglasses and headgear is my style ... works well with a nice bright attack. My main problem at this time is that my dinner consisted of Safeway brand spiral's and 1/2 a can of corn add coffee and soon I will be at the railway club Jeering on Restore.... Restore which is Shockk... Restore and 21 tandem repeats did a split cassette release on Canada Lynx Records.... Was entered into shindig got in and won the first round the band was Shockk on drums, Deborah on keys and vocals and JLS the destroyer AKA sniper on bass... Restore played with Tomas at Cafe De Seoulai as Mule on drums, Shockk on guitar and the one and only Super Robertson on bass. The version playing tonight (with Deborah and JLS) plays music that they came up with as a collection of individuals after the fact. The band with Myself and mule played the songs from the cassette release release plus a song from Load of Stale muleslick "fort". We had also rehearsed a Jackass has Haybreath song but didn't play it. Anyhoo why say this... just to demonstrate how bands differ.... They got the show so they wrote some songs.... We have the songs just waiting for a band that needs an excuse to play them. It was good for me to just learn a bunch of songs with set parts and arrangements... when you are jamming up stuff there is a delicate dynamic feeding upon itself.... when the songs are the songs and you learn them the work is very different... good for those who write the songs to hear them played live.. You get a better perspective of your song and will surely grow as a writer.. it can have an inspiring affect as well. Remember this I ride with 4 trackers and to a lesser extent other multitrackers... and most of the songs 1 guy played everything... so he has never even heard the song live.... 1 last element ... each band is in fact an artist working together to recreate the song. I will pass on a reread of that.... I don't quite think i "threaded the needle" in that one... but that's OK "you take a lot of bullets on a first draft trip".... I am greatly amused with myself having worked that saying in again.... speaking of working things into art here is some advise... Always keep your art choppy and irregular that way anything fits anywhere. It's true I am a genius but hey I'm the guy who's got to live with me.... Do a reread of that last statement but when you hit the word "hey" do a little pause.. hit "hey" with authority.. have your arms out swinging in rhythm with your hips... Say it like your being hassled but you shoot the opposition down with your coolness... another good tool is to have 1 finger up and look majestically off in the distance when you open the statement "it's true..." Maybe i need one of them little cameras so i could do a proper demonstration with all the right inflections. Thinking this.... the people at speakers corner could easily ruin me horribly.... the amount of times i have gone in and the things i have done.... My last visit to Toronto I did not go... I think that was a first... One time i did a song medley under the aegis of a video for the Chicken ep...( i have filmed many videos) I usually play horribly and in that booth halfway through the take when i realize beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only thing that can save me is a nice bolt of lightning.... I usually end up mumbling things looking around in a shifty manner maybe attempt an apology or an explanation... and then the time runs out... in 2 minutes i have done something that could destroy what a group of people took years to achieve. November 12, 2001 Walking in the moonlight / make that a streetlight / on a tree lined boulevard / as defined by oxford / there was just the sound of footsteps And if your in a cemetery at night and you don't feel any spirits does that mean that they are not there , even if other's swear of their presence.. are we just chosen to be attune to these things or is it what we know that makes us feel things... and what about the things you feel and others don't ... are you really feeling what you think you are.... but if you think you are then you are on some level weather it's real or not. Some other level; of self expression, individuality and choice. November 11, 2001 Saw the movie waking life .. it was excellent. I have a feeling that whoever wrote that movie drew heavily on a stash of philosophical essays.... maybe somebody did a PHD in philosophy and thought what will i do with all this i have done... and the result was this movie. November 10, 2001 The beggars.... that shall be the name of the band ... Smash came up with that ..... Sat November 17 @ Blunt Bros... Me Shockk and Smash I declare that it will be a clinic. If one were to come out they would hear some rarely performed Roadbed songs , a couple of Jackass has Haybreath numbers and a few new songs .. a couple numbers off the soon to be released 21 tandem repeats full length (working title Poetry is a jackass sport) . When things are done properly explanations are short and to the point ... when things are not done it is often a result of too much discussion. Common ground naturally exists and should be explored through the act of doing... when is done and you see entity the lessons are mulled over ... this is best done on a bicycle racing down a flat road with the part of the brain that is not being used monitoring and calculating the chances of being "doored". Being "doored" is the kind of setback that one often never really recovers from. Like standing in front of the net screening the goalie and you take a cross-check in the back fall forward on your fist.. breaking your hand.... the hand that likes to play piano and drums and guitar and bass. I had a broken hand while recording Jackass Has haybreath.... but i also had professional accomplices who for some bizarre reason believed in me .. and that was the difference. Rock and Roll bands attract characters .... many whose minds are so soaked with substances they don't even remember life. I don't work with these types ..... well Two Sticks is a good drummer so I can make an exception. I think Roadbed needs a Vegas Gig.... I think that we could destroy Vegas.... Nice Swimming pool, 2 show a day for a year ... set routine would induce improvisational works.... there must be some good improve singers in Vegas... go loose a couple of bucks in the flip of an arm. But the food.... good life starts with good food.... and where there is money there is good food.. Fruit must be cheap there. November 9, 2001 Humming Quiet. Why I love Fridays by SR.... I love Fridays because by then I am so tired slipping into an afternoon nap is easy ..... then i wake and it is dark and i get some exercise... and then I feel ... I feel so alive and alert and able..... thoughts come strong with such a dominant authority that all is calm.... Calm Humming Quiet ... or is that a fan... a small little fan hidden in a box somewhere... the only agony is that i am late for an engagement so all must turn to rush that will lead way for the *****mental mistakes ... the kind of mental mistakes that will cause grievance's.... these will probably be deemed worthy to write about ... and the pointless cycle will continue until the middle aged man back flares up and he can no longer live in this world. ***** Mental mistakes are made and cause failure... OOOOH i said failure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failure failure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failure failure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failurefailure failure failure failure so i am doing a quick copy paste and then i think... did i spell failure wrong... and then i look at the word failure and i have one of those moments of looking at some word written and i think man that looks weird.... send essays on the word failure to Super@Roadbedonline.com ... best essay wins a roadbed clothing article and a hearty handshake and will be considered for content in the upcoming Canada Lynx Records book department thingie .. it is later now and I noticed my failure copy paste error... Mule is failure a noun in that sentence? November 8, 2001 Violent outbursts ..... can come in handy if you need to make a point.... the problem .... the point that is made is not usually the one that is intended. The wounds of a good punch up don't heal easily .. unless the victim is so scarred with violence it is just another day. Hockey and bad tempers usually have a common ending a good brawl on the ice rarely ends with police intervention ... bar brawls can be dicey in this way.. there is also glass and mob mentality... in hockey there is the same number of players on each team ... any cheap shot is tallied and dealt with in time... Gordie Howe said it best when he played for the Hartford Whalers "guys don't be in a hurry to get a guy back... even if it takes a couple of years" ... a retaliation penalty hurts the team, and teams win championships. My Uncle played a few games against Gordie Howe, he said " he would give you 5 elbows in the time a regular guy would give you one".. and that was a compliment. Hockey has moments of the last frontier, a place where a guy can play rough and if he does it well is loved for it. Society has turned into such a sissy pot that you can't even go to a bar and give the entertainment a good heckling. Its all so passive and boring drawn under the blanket of supportivness to yell "you suck get off the fuckin stage" is in a sense supporting that person to move on and find their true calling... or supporting them to write better stuff, learn their craft. But it is more like this...ah forget it... November 7, 2001 Never not jam...... that has sort of been my philosophy for say 7 years... I cancel a handful of Jam sessions a year.... Last night i did not go down. I slept all afternoon and am now in rare form eager for a total clinic at the Shockcenter. What to sing about tonight ... bananas are always a good call .. banana sounds good shouted .... But i have been shouting for years... anybody who missed Knockin' Dog perform Chicken ... is sorry weather they know it or not. I remember playing a place called "the gate" and some jolly old foreign woman was there and she had tears in her eyes and she was exclaiming.... OH it is so beautiful you are artists... Thank you thank you..... the other band was playing and she said This is not art... but you are artists. Strange because I kicked a hole in the wall on stage... I meant to jump on the wall and spring back.... but the spring back part never happened.. Due largely in part to the fact that I went through the wall..... And the sound guy was new and his boss was going to kill him... and that sentiment filtered through to me.... The show ended with Me and The Rev. Dick Badcock slugging it out .. as an awkward two sticks tried to break us up. Knockin' Dog had some very weird songs... many were never recorded.. I would say that we "overtweaked" things .. I stood alone on that..... Most of the processes natural paths took us far away from the root concepts ... Which is a good Art formula ... but ultimately destructive... and may i say... very hard on the health...... in flashes it was like running a race... seeing the finish line go into hyper-space in the other direction ..... Shortly thereafter I would be presented with some reasons why I was underachieving.... each of them with a soul numbing analysis to boot. In fairness I am me... and i do have some communication Issues, short term focus, and a bunch of motivational problems the biggest being described by this analogy.... How Super Robertson learned to play music ... by Super Robertson..... Learn some chords.. make up a song.. play it.. do it again. In time one develops the skills, various refining techniques, a repitoir.... play with people learn from those people, record and listen. The main point being that it was not lessons from a book that required the repetition of set exercises... this would have killed me ... my technique would be better and i would halve learned things faster... been aware of things years before i was... but that was not the trip or will it ever be... me and instruction manual's don't get along and as a result i live life the long way. The greater point being working with me can often have its pains ... often i am so set on the task at hand... reason is absolutely out of the question. What is reason and who is defining it... and are they able to let go... bla bla bla. By abandoning that last paragraph (if it can be called that) I have save myself some sanity.... This very deep canyon was opening up to be filled with points and counterpoints... until its meaningless I hate discussions.... When people solve problems together successfully there is usually little discussion... I have found discussion more as a form to disguise the truth and procrastinate.... politicians discuss things... a real man gets down to work. Speaking of politicians In BC months ago before the election the state rune monopoly insurance company ICBC issued cheques to everybody as there was a surplus and rates are coming down..... How much money does it cost to send out that many cheques... lots.... now rates are going up..... How blatantly stupid and ultimately irresponsible is that..... we must administer that groin kick thing.... Money The new Mayor of New York ran 2 campaign Ads in the 9th inning of the World Series... costing millions... the ads (My sources tell me) .. showed endorsements from the current mayor.. The hero of New York.... he was behind in the polls by a lot not long ago ... I cannot imagine a worse life than that of a politician .... here take the reigns of this shit train. I am getting older ... but i think the detachment of me from life is greater ... will I be that guy mumbling to himself displaying quick head movements ... hey i already am that guy ... I made it . November 6, 2001 The scene... Candle wick burning too close to the edge... the circle melting at the edge... push the wick over to the center... with what ... ah this book of matches...... moments later i speak of a bolt analogy. No sunlight hours... a bad trip if you are a farmer... happens all the time... Framers make no money yet they supply the food one of the few true necessities yet there is little money in farming ... there must be some guy some where sitting in a chair making money selling produce..... new thought .. food is mass produced so it is under value ... therefore a carrot that grows for 43 days is worth next to nothing.... My father believes in squash... 99cents a lb.... he grew about 150 pounds. I think it is the fact that you eat squash always and therefore do not suffer the ill effects of lack of beta carotene. The math on 99 x 150 has a nice ring to it.... no pesticides ... well maybe a little slug bait... but if you pout that on a metal tin the slugs will come to it for their "final feast". One other effect to look at is this ... say you have a banana peel and you compost it... where was that banana grown.... what pesticide laws are there in that country..... What has been passed on through the action of composting.... Thought was interrupted because of the slamming of local farmers (hypothetical corruption based fear conspiracy)... that caused a deletion derailment ... now on to alliteration does there have to be three in a row You're sure damn right about that "relentless forechecking" bit. That's exactly where it's at. Hockey is perfectly suited for it too, what with having a stick to wield. If I were an NHL goalie, or any goalie, I would, and have, scream myself hoarse to get those chickenshit defenders to jump on the puck, on the man, just fucking jump eh? Force the opponent's hand. We don't wait on anyone here. Be quick or be dead. -b. Cog in the machine? Spanner in the works! ..... An e-mail from smash some time ago... it happened i got talking about the grand scheme of things and i went for a reference and why not..... Serves that lazy assed Mule right for not getting on his story "MY RIDE ON THE ROADBED BANDWAGON" ... his words folks. November 5, 2001 Here is the fang That's going to pierce the Bubble ... cancel buttons on elevators....Never buy a 62102 ULT magnetic tool from UAP/Napa they are truly shit... the first two things in today's installment were random notes I had made to myself whilst "out on the scene. Then i came across the bill for the 62102... remember the bolt and all the damage done. For a guy that started out trying not to mention the bolt I have yet again failed. November 4, 2001 A good installment is overdue... this will become clearly obvious if you subscribe to continued reading. Hank Best did a header from the top of the stairs and blamed the bartender for mixing the drinks too strong. Me i still have a bolt in my engine and i only have myself to blame.... the positive... there is no positive in this situation... its like an everlasting all time low... i need the impossible... if Yoda were here he would say that is why i failed.. i would agree adding that i am basically a complete idiot. Fortunately its an idiot world ... so i may still thrive .. somehow on some weird tangent that was never quite meant to be. But doom and gloom is for playwrights and that i am clearly not ... not now. I am a 4-tracker at heart ... a career low fidelity expert. Performance is the only ritual worth repeating in my world.. how it goes to tape is close to random, monitored briefly in between takes. I am an end to end rusher in hockey .. an unpredictable release hard but accurate... precisely. Precision does not mean accurate.. why should it.. Exactly.... exacting precision sounds good on paper... but it could mean you kept hitting the goal post square. Play the body and use the body to protect the puck .... have a good backhand shot... it is very hard for a goalie to read.... At a national hockey tournament a man in a good toque, sunglasses, 1 foot sideburns and a black trench coat does not fit in too well... they say that is not a hockey player... he didn't say anything after i stripped him of the puck in his own end zone setting up the winning goal in a 6-0 game (the first goal would be the winning goal).... good teammates to finish the play. And tonight me and Shockk did some double drumming on a piano piece... I kept it steady he did the fills.. our natural killing configuration... groove and colour this piece will need some strong words to cut like the knife that bleeds to kill.... figuratively speaking that is.. Kill is such a strong word .. the end .... When mail is to be returned to sender it is termed killed.... when a song is played well it is termed killer.... when I get crosschecked in the head my reaction is to "sleuth foot" and come down with an elbow to the throat.... then the guy gets angry and treats the reaction as an initial event. Cause and affect..... and then comes the blame ..... Vs what i did or failed to do got me where i am. Some are born with a head start, some are bone with more tools, some get it, others fail to see. There is no set formula for a happy life... live well ... be good and prosper. Its all in the definition of good...one mans good is another mans shame... not everybody wants the same stuff from life. Travel .. Two sticks is overseas.... i flip from microcosm to microcosm short circuiting the brain ... he is no longer crazy .. he has lost his edge ... sitting at a table with three others like a real human socializing buying into camaraderie that is not threats ... or shaming... he speaks when spoken to. Until he can slip away for a quick Willingdon Black scolding ... I think Willingdon Black will soon meet a swirley... Shockk and i discussed this tonight... we are going to up our physical violence coefficient with respect to Willingdon black encounters. Sing me a song georgina / and give it all that you feel / and if you surround all that can be found / all else is to be forgiven / the minutes in your life locked air tight when you wrote about me / and as soon as you said it was me in your head i felt like an average guy / So write me a poem georgina / and have in it just what you want / cause now that its said I've got you in my head/ there is little else that i want / yea sure I'll keep rockin till my ticker stops talking but that's just the way that i am / and now its been declared that its a love that we share I want to get on with the rest of my life with you / so take a walk with me georgina / and see all that you can / and if your not down with a musical clown / know that you're free to not listen Fran was known as sparky and sparkle looked out from the bridge / I myself was high in the crows nest reading poetry / She looked into my eyes and i looked down at my pan fries / who the hell wrote that and how did it get published / she whispered in my ear "there are grants for things like these" / I felt her breath on my ear it went to my spine / I soon did realize ... everything you thought you knew you knew not at all. First drafts are consistently organized.. So sleep jack ass (that's me) Medical Doctors... usually when i meet them i slip into a whinny voice and say something like "I got this stabbing pain in my back" ... lately i have been giving them a very anxious "is this skin Anthrax AKA Cutineaous anthrax"... When i was in University in London Ontario I use to hitchhike back to Toronto... One time i got picked up by this guy "tiny" he was big red haired driving a produce truck.... spoke in a very high pitched voice seething with lack of confidence... He heard i was in biology... and drew a conclusion that i was to be in medicine.... and proceeded to give me that "I've got a stabbing pain in my back"... he was also worried about an upcoming provincial election.. As he said "I could loose my J-J-Job"... I told him to vote Conservative. Later i was in a car with a veteran Doctor and i relayed the story to him... he almost drove off the road in a wild fit of laughter. Memories of being in vehicles....We had this crazy foreman Ken at treeplanting camp... he use to bomb down the logging roads trying to hit potholes whenever i was trying to take a drink... so I called out "BEAR!" the van stopped.. i used my bird watching experience to give a location description... everybody was looking anxiously into the woods and ken heard the sound Glug Glug Glug... knowing instinctively he hat been burnt he slammed on the gas got moving.. Locked the breaks I was gagging and flying forward my neck into his hands for a quick choking... I loved that guy. Do not subscribe to who people are by how they appear.... This was the lesson of gr. 13 ... it was also the year i discovered studying with the help of previous years exams... It is then that you realize why some do better than others... nothing like knowing the answers.... it gives you that calming confidence... try not to leave early doing cartwheel's down the hall... I almost dislocated my wrist... yet still when i got home jumped around sort of tripped over a chair... and tumbled down to the Wreckroom (a small staircase of 4 stairs)... I must have looked like that time my buddy Tom hit a pothole running through the ravine path with a shopping cart.... Just sot of rolled over it... Another thought i had today was that i need to start to incorporate diagrams... I could draw diagrams of all of the makeshift tools one may use to get a bolt out of a car engine... beside the diagram there would be point form notes on why they failed and how they inevitably caused more damage. November 2, 2001 TGIF Hockey work and recording has withered me down to a nice blurr... thing big sleep.. 1 hibernation coming up. There is a nice cold beer beside me.... that should kick start the delirium to come. My new years resolution this year was to drink more.... I am succeeding... it is good to have these goals it gives one a sense of accomplishment. November 1, 2001 The attitude is in general this... keep to yourself ... enjoy comedy ... and gouge the eyes out of anyone who gets in your way. In other news I have body ailments.. Some of which are reoccurring Shake this hand and win $1000000 Think about that Willingdon Black... Never accept anything less than a full scouring of the truth.... Play the game Willingdon Black ...I need an inside man You take the fall Because at some point in time when everything is wrong and totally irreversible you will have to carry on. And don't write back with some candy assed analysis... Just accept this as the truth.... Lets never speak of it again SR An e-mail to willingdon black tonight.... I need to rattle some cages... mix some ingredient's ... I will definitely need to talk to smash ... Hey Rock is down..... time to hit him good! Like in hockey you can never allow the advantage. 1 breakdown can change the outcome. October 31, 2001 There is definitely an unpalatable flavor here... is what i was thinking when i poured the drink out the window... a younger me would probably been unable to part with a couple of shots of rum wasted. But the man who believes that everything has a use ends up with a lot of stuff he never uses.... Some reasons for the lack of use are as follows: 1) the item is broken 2) the item is incomplete 3) I do not perform the tasks that the said item is meant to do.... I will shut the list down now because i can..... after all these are the Robertson chronicles...... I figured saying that was better than taking that list into some self deprecating stuff about lack of focus as I have done before. Where when why the three W's ... hot damn ... it will be hotter than a firecracker at midnight tonight. Stimuli the sensory objective of ... i don't think that sentence has any chance of making sense... what is a sensory objective? what is a (noun) (noun).... is that correct? How does correct vary with perspective... what is .... what is not ... why does he continue to type when he has nothing to say... there are no thoughts just the echo of procedure.... the wheel runs easy without resistance of proper articulation of a fact based story. Do we or do we not let fact get in the way of a good story.. Are stories just another chance to live in the past... a complete life past present and future... most people miss the future bit... the attitude of "live life for today" can have cold repercussions and us usually followed by small minded consumer responsive Jacks like my good buddy pale tone black...... Pale tone black lived for the moment... had a salt habit that could support a small nation... was broke within hours of being paid... loving it..... I think pale tone black hails from Regina... super T calls Regina the armpit of the world... i was there once and i hung out at the Burger king... all was good.... I wonder how old Pale tone Black is doing... the last time i saw pale tone black was at the Ivanhoe hotel.. I had just picked up a nice brick of cheese an a book an i looked over to see pale tone black doing a header into the cigarette machine... These cigarette machines don't dent easy and pale tone black richochayd onto the floor and brunt his cheek on some carelessly tossed coals. I hear he is now practicing law if you can believe that.. live hard laugh hard play hard work hard.... Take a fat hockey player with a big mouth... the opposite.... good night October 30, 2001 The bolt is still in the engine I had to let that statement sit, and fester.... What if i were to say that there is now some gum and a magnet in the engine. Would you believe that. Stupidity varies directly with confidence and there is a definite anger correlation. A non confidant angry person is a person to avoid at all costs.... the word costs will actually rung true more like a benefit however. Dig this hypothetical situation... you are in a band and the guy who rarely shows up and when he does he is very late, plays too loud with a piercing tone, is out of practice, doesn't listen to anybody.... this guy says "we got to all play keyboards and sound like Madonna or there is no point me showing up any more"... the cost of not taking his advise may eliminate it.. Which may have its benefits. A folk singer gone all wrong playing bass in a jazz/metal band. Its a mistake that we can all learn from ... because as long as he does .. he is.... The point of the exercise said in 30 words. Philosophy is a textbook i need not ... like an instruction manual for a door mount garbage can. The Illustrations were nothing like the actual objects... that sent the initial blow to their credentials ... and how long can you follow something that you do not believe ... I declare myself a philosopher and demand a heavy sum ... so i can spent my days pondering in gardens observing the miracle of life being destroyed by the idiots at hand.... The good part about living within a cushion of misreality is this ... drawing a blank ... The tree outside my window is there / it is dark / but i know it is there I am almost positive there is no washer... I actually am positive ... but the consequences of being wrong on this one are so great that the word "positive" cannot be defined absolutely. That last line had some potential. October 28, 2001 In a classic example of "one step forward.. 9 steps backwards" I have dropped a bolt into my car engine.. trying to replace the starter. I have always displayed a consistent incompetence when it comes to things like this. A very easy procedure gone all wrong with the fool hands of a career butterfingers. How will butterfingers spell check would be a good tangent to momentarily rid me of an overwhelming sense of failure... but just the other day outside the Shockcenter i dropped my keys down the sewer grate.... The facts ...Shock has long scolded me for not having a fully functional set of keys on a chain... my system was House car bike lock mailbox and knife on a ring...no chain.... and The Shockcenter keys on another ring with chain.... So the scene is this... me coming off two good cab omens with coffee outside Shockcenter.... Grab the chain to get keys out of pocket.... and hear the sound "plook".... my keys not on chain lifted out of pocket with Shockcenter keys and falling through a grate into the sewer. The good thing is that in a fit of desperate anger i did not throw my back out trying to lift a "locked" sewer grate.... The Restore show was in an hour and i was looking at a crowbar and a sure ear infection inducing swim... and this was not my usual pre show routine.... enter Shockk and the mule... i get to relive the horror of the situation through their facial expression... we have a brief three man pull on the sewer grate.... then the Idea of a flashlight... forced by the mule... I had given up and accepted the loss.... but low and behold the mule yells i see them.... there there were a red Swiss army knife and some glimmering metal.... Shockk to get the Robertson head screwdriver (also known as the square head.. Pun intended) a long thin piece of wood trimming and a screw and 1 try and were were going over the set moments later... a true team victory... the defining gelling moment of a fresh young band.... Will that magic carry the bolt out of my engine... Where are Shockk and the mule same problem, caused by the same idiot ... different variables.. and a greater cost.... that was the warm-up... even if i get the bolt will i get the washer... is there a washer? ... will there ever be piece of mind on this one.... not until the next owner hits a pothole on the kokehalla .... strike that last thought.... good god it's Sunday and i have yet to heap abuse on Hey Rock. That reminds me to listen to his phone that i have "bugged"... micro cassettes tell the things that don't want to be heard / told me that was my friend the sparrow bird / Now poetry is a jackass sport / to be suffered with a glass of port / and when thing fall down to weak rhyme sachem / go to sleep / dream / and sweat / and wake up / and put on your terrycloth housecoat / and go back to sleep / until the time for sleep is no longer / actually usually past due. In the refrigerator lurking behind the cheese was something i never wanted to see doobie doonie... due date disaster done damaged deuonenum, past potatoes prefer peets predicament..... From the song Paranoid delusion Written and recorded by myself and Chris Sharpe. The flower's on the floor are very pretty please ... one of my earliest recording memories ... the floor in question was actually a rug and it was in the livingroom of my parents cottage... a cottage is defined as a house without a basement .. i did not know that prior to September 2001. My dad told me that as we were walking on the beach looking at a newly constructed house in cottage country.... it had a basement thus the discussion. Did some recording tonight and was reminded how much i suck. Got a good drum track... there will be a deletion exercise when i start where h left off ... remember the bolt and try to sleep is not a good combination. October 27, 2001 Hollywood bugs... i figured out why i kept singing "i built a hole" rather than "i dug a hole"... it comes from a Station A song I built a bomb..... strange how the subconscious works...sing this song done shell for inspiration... that would be a conch shell for vocal affect. A real honour to play a Mule song... Mule Hughes a song factory... time to pressure Mule to do more of this... not quite like "squeezing the lemmon" which is a term i use for power songwriting.... get a few good soules and get down to some steady work. Much work to do... therefore time for some good old procastination. October 26, 2001 Talked to Carl Fatman today... he is anxious too see Roadbed play again.. I told him don't you worry your stomach.... a little adaptation from a great Formula Vee release. Tonight i play bass for Restore and the distinct pleasure of playing a Mule song... track 1 from a load of stale muleslick... Fort... I had that song in my head yesterday playing hockey... deaked the golie out and waited half a bar so that i could put the puck in the net to coinside with the beginning of the end of the song. Now is the weekend for weekend activities like sleeping in, feeding, laundry, and general unadultrated tomfoolery. Hey Rock is overdue for a good reaming out... do you believe in horoscopes.... October 25, 2001 Ant lions... the larvae form of some insect that burrows in the sand and creates a cone shaped (inverted cone) sandpit that ants walk into and have trouble getting out. They frantically climb up the side as the ground beneath them collapses... all this activity triggers sensors on the aunt lion larvae body and causes two large pinching mandible like structures to come from below the sand and grab the soon to be "late" ant who slowly disappears below the sand. As a scientist i dug one up after a fresh kill...and let me tell you that the aunt lion is one bizarre organism. Another point... hungry when spelt hungary will spell correct to Hungary... this happens because my good man Gock Shing Wong (spell checker and roadbed video man) has been letting "i" stand rather than correcting to "I".... this creates what we call a "tuned out due to rapid repeditive mothin" scenario... but the bone reality is this it's 12:33 am and i have just suffered a long wallet loss scare and i must work tomorrow and this is kind of fool gibberish anyway so good night... not that it will be night later when or if this is read... i would suggest a skimming... wait till the book comes out... and if you do that get a good supply of food rations....Blah blah blah October 23, 2001 love ... can be a scary proposition to buy into.. everything the world ever taught you about evil in humanity must be overlooked... ghaadzooks i don't quite know how i got here.... impulse, good vibes, forces of destiny... but try to describe.... When i was in grade 8 we went to Ottawa and stayed at the University and got to swim at an Olympic pool.... think big diving board and a young SR afraid to take the thrill as the analogy (which i prefer to metaphor)... metaphor sounds too stuffy.. too contrived... I think i made the point just need a summary statement.... would it be " I love you wanna shack up and see what happens".... That way of course we will truly test the omens. But the stress on the sr to as we say "stay coherent.... and focus with clarity" could be too much for the chicken liveried derailing describer, defined only in brief bright flashes. But now the hockey game is over and i am still swallowing a bitter defeat. not much defense today... out team suffered from too much yap an not enough positional play i was screening the goalie and took a puck on the inside of the thigh.. that was about how things went. October 22, 2001 Just took the starter off of a 1988 Honda civic wagon... I still owe you the story of the oil change disaster... that's what i was thinking when i gashed open my cold hand on some metal object as i was loosening some bolts... the same alley.. my same nemesis.. but this time the scene was colour commentated by a frenchman... who did guide me and helped with moral support... It was the rain and the hockey season that put imperative into the situation... going to have to cut down on my alcoholism if this works out.... Riding in a cab this weekend... out of my head and what comes on the radio but "Funky cold madenia"... me singing along ..."had a few drinks and thinking soon what I'll be getting, instead she started thinking about plans for our wedding" and all the time i was thinking ... damn i gotta get rich so i can spend all my time being driven around town without a care in the world high on life and other things. At the Laundromat a cold super Robertson is unable to convince the good attendant Irene, to supervise a couple of quick SR tumble dry... not even his heavily annotated shiver's could budge her on this.. was i ready to go ... yes ... why? because and only because i was cold... but my chill did that "SR brain thing" and thought that it would be a good idea.... if not i would give the signal ... the beat for territorial lynx in the glass... and she would gladly stop... so i thought.. Then boom my laundry was dry and a hot laundry hug session gave me an overwhelming heat euphoria that everything became quite wonderful and i left without incident. October 21, 2001 the rain outside my window is falling / i myself am hallucinating / randomly / time is like a never-ending train ride. October 20, 2001 no plans .. it comes in handy on days like this.. There are just resources and the lack thereof. But that was then and this is now.....beside the swing set there is a set of antlers... really a kill last night or a house party gone out of control. Maybe perfectly in control with the right amount of property loss. Your personal property to be used by anyone who can steal it..... theft or just the natural evolution of possession.... 1 bad bounce of the puck and you can loose the game, an unexpected deflection, screen shot, an ambitious play gone all wrong when the defense refuses to use the boards and go up the middle .... he cough's up the puck predictably. Hockey is position.. a lesser talented team can take a better team by focusing on positional play... don't allow chances caused by a man out of position. Sex is another activity that benefit's from good position.... limb availability, friction areas, sustainability for a marathon session... its not the destination but the journey... so i have heard anyway... I also read a book one time.. and there is this radio show that i listen to..... eavesdropping in the public wateringholes... planting "bugs" in woman's group meetings. Which reminds me to get some more tape... i like to "bug' with DAT tapes.. i find that the quality is significantly greater... and the possibility for after affects. Just kidding i "bug" with micro cassette.. The clear and obvious choice of skulking convicts. Other problems i will encounter soon are that i am set to do some improv vocals for the stoke show tonight.... they missed my solo show and are possibly not aware of how badly i can suck... time to go deep under cover. Learned the bass parts for next Fridays Restore show at Cafe De Solaiux... should be good a quick 6 songs.. and call it a clinic ... got Mule Hughes on the skins so all should be well. A little squirrel outside my window is sniffing / I myself am caffinated / pellet gun / you won't see tomorrow . Now would i kill a squirrel for sport ... No i would not.. I would make sure that i ate the meat and stewed the bones.... maybe a little squirrel skin necktie Photography... lighting... perspective.. the capture of the elusive moment. A pixel representation of light reflecting from colours. The colour of an object is dependent on a physical property... it's differential capacity to absorb and reflect the different light spectrum with very deferent ratios.... There must be a reread coming up as I sense the limb cracking... memo to all of those that share the paranoia.... act likewise and you will fall into the background .... the is another option differentiate yourself to the point of being unapproachable.. Oh the drink blurrs heavy on my self... and thoughts are hard to come by....good night! October 19, 2001 word out that some suckers are starting to believe in me... never do that.. i may loose my edge. What is my edge ... don't know don't care... don't come out of it in order to understand it because you may not get back in.... Songwriting is very much like that... if i stopped to think everytime i was inspired nothing would ever get done... It was written on the wall of the Salvador Dali exhibit in London.... "great artists are not those that are inspired, rather those that inspire others" ... it drew a parallel along the lines of this. The spirit of ras bird man... G-force made an amazing Mcdonalds spoon scorpion.. that inspired me to make a macdonalds spoon free standing ras bird man.... which inspired him to paint it... which inspired me to silk screen it on Roadbed shirts... a classic example of two talents working unhindered for the greater good of art. October 18, 2001 afraid of nothing he encounters the world ... to be beaten like a savage.... those were my soggy notes from the highway experience... if there is a will there is a way .. there is a way to overcome... i think it is how that will is expressed are the energies in the right places... are the sacrifices worth it.. and are they sacrifices or just a way of life. ahh the timecard.. life's rations tallied on a piece of paper, to discriminate, alienate and defeat. Is the word defeat more morbid than the word victory even if used in a sentence like.. " we handed those chump fools a bitter defeat "... or should it be "in victory we triumphed " ... I know what i would say but my mind is on hockey. A good music show is called a clinic.... which brings me back to bands....most preferably my own... talk about what you know best... while i typed those last three dots i passed gas something fierce... once again I claim research as a cover to do what i please Did i ever tell you about the time i a drank dish detergent / milk cocktail at 6 in the morning... the dish detergent was being stored in a glass... i had slept in .... the treeplanting van was heavy on the horn... only time to quickly gulp down a full glass of milk...in the Super Robertson brain the part that censors bad decisions like " this milk had a very odd and unpalatable favor NO don't question there isn't time" was asleep at the wheel. The violent vomiting aided with the drinking of my days supply of water and "purging" left me very Hungary and shall we say light headed... probably why i lost my balance and fell off that log face first into some bearshit... i like to think of that day every once and a while ..... I had a finely tuned articulation on why bearshit was the worst... at least i would have had this story been true which it was until the word bearshit... it was actually a stick that nearly gouged my eye out. Suddenly i feel like going shopping ..... i am a gouger i did not mean to type that. October 17, 2001 Sleep eat work hockey uptate.. do it again.... but motorcycle man..... a shindig sure bet It is actually easier for me to function in a bar as another being with a direct purpose. Of course there is always an "out" or shall we say "a well placed noose that just won't tighten".... Until the camera turns on and I serve up a watermelon. Nothing like a bad sports analogy to kill the mood of some fine articulation... I mean what does pitching have to do with the sharp wit of a keen observer... A journalist always looking for a good story and avoiding a bad one... Write a bad book and call it art... ThatÕs my tip SR .... an email about to be sent to a friend at 9:20 pm.... the interesting thing is that I use to e-mail a select, say, dozen people (ones that i knew could handle it... which is something that becomes very obvious once the returns are tallied)... that was my writing exercise.. now it is these chronicles (that is my exercise)... anyhoo my e-mailing has dropped off drastically ( a correlation that varies inversely with the said chronicles) so what do i do.... I write an e-mail and it reads more like a direct chronicles installment (yet a positive one... interesting).. however there are a few points to reckon with.... 1) I have spoiled the sanctity of that e-mail... 2) I must now use it for greater good 3) i should just write some e-mails sometime 4) i rather should write letters 5) stay coherent 6) quit before your are too far behind October 16, 2001 Hockey and Beer and crassness.. big talk from a small man.. also relentless forechecking... my nemesis on the opposite defense.. he once played with "Burnaby' Joe Sakic.... his words were I'm going dark so you go white big talker... he also said "lucky i took it easy on you"... that said what i wanted it too. Our team will be prepared... for an Easter massacre. It is as important to win the Hockey Tournament as it is to rock the stages of Vancouver. We are in this together... team work... everlasting chameleon ego.... Gail my neighbor doesn't like me playing drums well i guess i kind of figured that Gail you are a spoil sport I only did this once.... The shit came down on me that day.... I set up a drum kit in the apartment.. she flips out.... me i sleep in the afternoon.. for years i am haunted by dreams of playing bass and getting frustrated because i cant change the bassline.. and i hate it because it is so generically classifiable as the kind of music that has been so mass consumed lately... and it really does suck.. a good bassline is a good bassline and a bad bassline is a bad bassline.. anyhoo in my dream i cannot change it and it goes on and on and on...(like trying to run in a dream and you can't)... and then i wake up angry only ti realize that it is Gail's booming shitbox downstairs playing some "hip" new drum and bass... the base subconsciously destroying my good sleep vibe...... and it happened every day for years.. I also got "smoked out" all the time when she resuscribed to the nicotine train. Physical loving participatory sex.... visual tactile heat / of another being / reciprocating congratulating with or without words... Seldom but effective has nothing to do with the creampie sat on the table while the Carl Fatman drooled a river... demonstrating again that he is the king .... of his domain. Big night tonight... i am very tired and just wish i could go to sleep... but sleep is for sissies and those of their kind.... bla bla bla -SR