january 1 - April 29 2002

welcome to the Robertson Chronicles Archive january 1 - April 29 2002 April 29, 2002 It is a crazy world and that is for sure... What a awful mess. Damn shame it is. And on top of that I haven't been writing that much.. This can be taken as a direct failure.. This is due to back pain.. And sitting... I am moving soon I need to think in terms of a good chair April 28, 2002 No Urea / Formaldehyde clause... I guess they use to put that stuff in buildings. Formaldehyde is a fixative... that means it denatures protein.... it preserves tissue.. It is highly toxic. The pain you feel in your eyes is actually the surface of your eyeball being irreversibly chemically altered... this is not a good thing. When I was getting a flu shot I asked the guy what was in the shot and he replied formaldehyde... I didn't miss a beat.. I pulled up my sleeve and said that will fix me! April 27, 2002 Geezus Super, Someone frames me for putting bootleg Roadbed shirts for sale on the internet and this is all I get from you? What the hell?! No rants? No "Steady work Smash ... nice!" No "Arr Smash? This is Carl Fatman ... my sources tell me you and/or your associates been making untold sums selling bootleg Roadbed t-shirts online in a complicated Ponzi scheme to make you seem like a victim. Please comment?" Are you feeling ok man? Cheers man ! - Smash. April 26, 2002 When I was in University we did an experiment where we stressed fish. This was achieved by thermal controls ..i.e. Altering the water temperature. Now zoom ahead and look to buy some real estate... be the fish! feel the forces.... Cost plus ten... when I get down I have found that when I get down it's because I don't see all the good that surrounds me. April 23, 2002 Decisions are hard to make when a game is on... birds sing, flowers and Hockey playoffs... Toronto stunk up the joint.. Vancouver is playing very exciting hockey.. There was just a holding call. April 21, 2002 Orange juice has taken on a new flavor.. Damn cheap rum. And yes I did get a response on the virtues of rum by my good man Smash. What a great man Hi Super. As a matter of fact I love Rum. But all Rum is not Rum, eh? At least with Tequila the more honest frauds call their stuff Mescal. You once said that a half-bright scientist could easily clone Wormwood, but do you know they can't even get Tequila Agava to grow anywhere but in the Tequila region of Mexico! I digress, and only meant to point out that some Rum is not Rum but is in fact simply bitter swill. So far your track record in these matters is not so good, but fear not 'cause before I was fortunate enough to be embraced by the vibrations of genuinely fine Spirits I spent a lot of time falling down after thinking how smart and efficient I was for being able to get wrecked for the least amount of money. Even as a teen I could afford the good stuff, but "why bother" I thought? Well to my credit it was Old Stock more often than not with some Rum poured into it. At least it was no "half-assed operation". Often gobble some sugar packets and run like hell to get the blood going. Run across a golf course in the dark (too dark to see the pitch & yaw of the ground) and spin many times and soon you will fall down. The great fun in this is that you're so dizzy that when the ground hits you (it feels like the ground is rising to hit you more-so than you're falling to the ground) it is such a suprise that clunking your head on the turf felels no more than a good communion with Mother Earth. So you do it over and over. Playing "Beer Soccer" in the dark is also fun, until someone gets a lot of shoe under the bottle and someone gets smacked in the face by it. Then when there are so few hardcore left that you can't really play Beer Soccer, you gather some Slurpee cups and light them on fire (good ol' waxy cardboard fires eh???) and kick them around. They go like flaming fireballs, and when someone's coat or hair catches fire you call it a night and head home. Only problem is that your shoes would be coated in wax and burn marks. Try explaining that and all the grass stains to your folks when you were only ostensibly at a friend's house to watch videos. That was a good part of my youth. I've never been shy about lighting things on fire and there were always Slurpee Cups at parties 'cause people would mix their Slurpees with things like cheap Rum. OK so back to Rum. Maybe you bought something truly fine, in which case good for you! But I fear what you might have bought and I am not ready to harbour sympathy for a few months like I have for your Crown Royal experiment. I was happy you got that behind you, but now am again afraid. Selah. I happen to have a bottle of Rum that is over 100 years old. 112 to be precise. Well, to really be precise the bottle is 2 years old but the Rum inside is 112. It is special stock from one of the Caribbean's greatest Rum producers of the modern day, and it was bottled for VIPs (one of my clients comes from a very connected family down there) to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of the Rum. The bottle is porcelain with hand etching, and it comes in a metal box for safe storage. Maybe one day we'll share it, but for now we should make time to just hang out as friends, and not as fellows in bands. It's been too long hasn't it? I can bring over some of the good stuff. You be Minister In Charge Of Fearsome Cookies, and I'll be Minister Of Spirits. We'll convene an in-camera session of our Cabinet soon. When are you generally free? I keep some extremely erratic hours these days. I still do enjoy running about golf courses at night. During the last big snowfall I actually lay down at 3am on the course, in the virgin snow, and momentarily fell asleep (hadn't slept in well over 24 hours and was running on a hefty mix of intoxicants). I awoke with a bit of snow on me in the total darkness and was so cold and wet that my first impression was that I might be dead. Immediately I felt great relief until I realized I had things that needed doing - hiding evidence, exacting vengeance, exposing truths, and things of that nature - you understand. I sat bolt upright and despite being no more than 100 feet from a cemetery I found I was not yet buried. Maybe I could have passed-out from the cold, fatigue, and intoxicants and frozen to death - in classic rock'n'roll fashion - but it was not to be that day. I thought you'd enjoy this story, and you might realize that there's the potential for some real deja-vu here if/when I really do pass on as I fully intend to rise from the "dead" at that time too. Like with all things, all it takes is will power and a complete refusal to have things imposed on you. OK. - Smash. .. i often fantasize about smashing things. The Rev. Badcock wanted to do an art show at one time with a display titled Quadroponics.. that would be things smashed into 4 pieces. I kinda like the smash and run vibe.. He asks a question and gets an answer that will require more work.. Never date a career researcher. The whole idea of living by your wits with your fists as a backup does not register as logic. Live fast die young.. Follow that statement and there are sure to be bad times. 4 pennies a loonie and earplug and 2 rechargeable batteries stand out of the junk pile that is my desk April 20, 2002 1 wasp encounter... the questions raised are How the fuck did it get in here? All of the windows are closed... and then all of the sudden my quiet, relaxing, back friendly reading session made a wrong turn with the sound Bbbzzzz.. A fat body with a drooping gigabyte stinger flying in for a closer look at my nice orange shirt. And now i am sitting... but have no fear afert i jerked upwrght and dove through a small opening ( a triangle of the chimney, roof, and attic floor) i got my stick and managed to open the window by the light source that the wasp had taken refuge in....I wonder if he crawled in through that window.. There is room and that would be a probable scenario given all of the evidence. I hope they are not building a nest in the wall of the house by where the squirrel family lives.. Like I mean what are the chances of that. I would say very good indeed... it would be an ideal spot for them (from the colony of wasp's perspective that is) . Once you are in the walls of the house their is an infinite amount of dry protected territory... I would say that your only problem would be the guy in the attic.. Sure you can come out and sting him a few times.. But he will crush you carcass into a mighty smear.. I think I am actually hearing movement in the walls now... Funny how the paranoia can do that ... although there is a lot of hard evidence on this one.... I should go out for a walk April 18, 2002 There is a bowl of cereal.. The milk is bubbled and turning brown... And I am in the market for some real estate.. How simply mature April 17, 2002 Tonight is the night for serious and important conversation.. I am not at liberty to say with whom. Many pressing, legal and defiantly expensive angles... people are stirred.. Change is imminent... I have a whole new respect for the phrase "Brave new world"... it makes perfect sense.. Brave New World of course is a book by Aldous Huxley... but as a series of words it communicates my feelings to a tee... I don't know maybe the only difference is that you now walk with your head on.. And speak like you know what you are talking about... which in itself can be a very bad habit... you will always end up at the wrong destination if you assume the wrong information. It doesn't matter to me if people think I am a complete boob... as long as there is method to the madness... The method is a cornerstone of science.. And I am a scientist... you should have seen the log i flushed this afternoon... In other news all of the discussions went well.. There is a truth seen by all. Never underestimate the power of that realization April 15, 2002 in a fair struggle against time he races to think something note worthy.. I guess failure is imminent until an omen arrives. It actually flies and there is some yellow and black thick hairs.. And of course "the stinger"... how could we forget the stinger.. a sharp hollow tube of chitin... What are you writing about ? Just trying to reintroduce the wasp for the spring season he replies over the slow release of a deadly fart. April 14, 2002 Yelled out a few good "Willingdon Black" 's the other night during the Stoke show. A lot of wheels are getting turned against me in this nickname game we call our life... Something about imposing reality on others.. a nice ironic statement in itself. I find it a good tonic to carry on the way you think is best.. All the while trying to let the awkward moments pass uneventfully.. I am slowly phasing out sudden violent movements due to personal reasons... also it will give them more power. Mule Hughes is out of school.. I have fired him off a mission statement demanding that he jump back into the fold of collaborators.. I will need him close by for editing assignments and such.. Also I feel another Mule release (I think around #15 or 16) is due... The one thing for sure is that I got some new screws to turn... an important development since Willingdon Black fears me and will avoid my company at all costs. An ironic statement in itself! I have to go and sing a song in an hour... once I finish this I will write the words... It is that Hey Rock took the bait like a hungry bass on a rainy spring morning song. April 13, 2002 The watch that tells the time .. a small clock on a wristband.. It lets you know if you're in shit or not... Unless of course you have no conscience... There are those with a conscience that has a on-off switch. It's the old "I want this now and I don't what happens to anybody in my way" syndrome. In other news my mini tape recorder seems to be broken.. A lot of song ideas on them little tapes.... and the world turns an somewhere in Africa a lion yawns. Life is so hard for some in Africa that it is not uncommon for people to try and walk across the serringetti... The Lions are learning that Humans are a easy food source... this is very bad news for species relations. It is very late, I am listening to some Internet radio station called "groove salad", the head is bubbling off my beer and yes I am naked....It is a comfort thing.. some sort of flexible stretching free body thing... probably best suited to enhance mental capabilities and hopefully the result will be inspiring discipline. Proper stretching requires focus through discipline. Recipes are simple steps that fruit tasty treats. You can't cut corners the truth is just too real to ignore. So many factors and we are all different.. yep yep yep. The tree outside my window is being pelted with rain and sways with galeforce winds.. i practice good posture.. all while proving to you that I must be deeply disturbed to continue this. What is the point of a ten thousand dollar bill that you could never spend.. Not because they don't have change but because the note is not legal tender... Maybe the notes were made up for some "fun " casino.. But Like Carl Fatman says "if you are going to bet, bet the whole wad.... no point being some nickel and dime candy ass". I think his point lay in the fact that you shouldn't bet if you think you can lose... Now Carl Fatman is no simple man and he knows that there are many ways to win. April 12, 2002 lost again.... The tree outside my window is budding, the buds are greener than the mold on the bark of the tree.. Make that moss (on the tree bark).. Who knows maybe it is a moldy moss of some sort... I'm just a describe not long out of sleep who must describe quickly while practicing good posture. The bruise on my arm has faded but the memory of the crosscheck that put it there in the first place has grown more vicious. Goddamn savages.. That is the other problem with playing pickup hockey for too long.. you let your guard down not expecting the ruthless savagery. Copyright is an annoying and ever-changing series of loopholes that money can find its way through.... or can it? Law and order.. Always works out well for those with money. If you hate money then all the more reason to have it... so that you can hate it with style.. April 11, 2002 People tell me "Super! you should sing about love".. but I don't like love I like food ... the words of a line on an upcoming Roadbed release. When will that be he wonders aloud.. Impatiently ruing what will come next April 10, 2002 The following message was sent to you from a visitor to your page on MP3.com. MP3.com is not responsible for its content. ____________________________________________________________ Annoying Internet connection in the Hotel metropolis has caused what would seem like much pain but for the free wine offered from 4-6 and hence a general attitude of slurred humorous thoughts occurs like at random. The Shockker and CT and a guy we call "College" are talking behind me... It costs 50 cents to make a Phone call.. and the American dollar coin seems slow to catch on.. As Shockk says they like the mean green... Shockk gave a guy on the street 5 bucks last night.. That must be good for karma. We have a room with a balcony and a few cacti.. When I was a kid use to grow cacti.. It all started as a boyscout when we toured a greenhouse. My first cactus was shaped like a shark fin... it grew small extensions that eventually fell off.. Some kind of reproductive technology. Then I went away and a freak snowstorm hit Toronto before my cacti came in for the winter.. RIP San Francisco is a good time.. Me and the Shockker put on a walking clinic.. Went to a hard-core show except the show was so late getting started we left.. Not before talking to the doorman who had this to say " I don't know man, I'm just the embittered doorman... People ask me who is playing an I just say I don't know some shitty bands.. It's all the same" . We saw the ocean today took a sunburn yesterday... Went to Pacific Bell Stadium to see the giants warm up... a longball knocked off of the cement by us. When in San Fran go to Red's Java house.. They make a serious grilled cheese.. It's just the way I like it. Stretch and breath.. Love yourself SR ____________________________________________________________ Book Your Band! Register for Band Booker now! That was a note from San Francisco But now most of the water went out the window with the block of ice.... no head blows were reported... and the screen wavered.... afraid of nothing.. The salamander repeated ... but that was all code words.. For things that are greater... and then a man on the street yelling gibberish doesn't seem so silly anymore. If I can stay away from the anger... that drives me in circles downwards.. Until the sewer speaks a familiar tone.. Of a pollywog.. Chosen as the voice of the evil overlord... who forgot his passport .. and then resorted to all powerful mind tricks.. To continue the reign of lack of expression.. And bad passion... until the tadpole turned frog turned prince stole the show.. April 4, 2002 my pipette pen / describes itself / with it's name ... nevermind the saying "never watch boiling water... make that a watched pot never boils" try "don't watch a refrigerator defrost" as you may inadvertently blow a heater and then rip an essential wire leading from the power device to the refrigerator pan.... this happens win you forcibly remove giant ice blocks with vicious force. April 3, 2002 Play against vicious savages = sore body.. I got more welts than the garage door at the Warden's house. The Wardens lived 2 doors down both there son's played Hockey.. One was actually drafted by the New York Islanders but he never saw time in the Big leauge.. He stayed in school and became a teacher... I'm sure he is a good one. Anyway the small games (roadhockey) with 1 goalie would be played in the Warden's driveway. It would usually be two or three to a side, when your side got possession you had to clear it out past the Basketball net and then back in... then you could fire at will.. there were 4 options with a few satellite choices.. You could score, save, miss the net and pound the tennis ball into the garage door making a loud deep tinny boom that would often Spark Mr. Warden into a wild frenzy ( I would personally estimate 1 in every 200 times, witch of course was actually quite often given the frequency and the vigor and even length of the games),####### sorry for the run on sentence#####, and the 4 th option was putting the ball wide either down the lane between the houses or against the brick. The satellite choices I spoke of before things got gamey were mostly categorized by the heading "Breaking windows"... But that was driveway hockey.. It's a good 2 on 2 game... And another thing.. Nobody likes mint girl guide cookies.. Why do people always got to ruin our memories. I bet you some damn fool took over the girl guides and thought they were going to create some marketing makeover genius... It's all in the Vanilla you just can't get a cookie like that... mint chocolate biscuits like that are as common as they are unpalatable! April 2, 2002 Buy an airline ticket.. Go insane. There is something all wrong about buying airplane tickets.. The price is never the price and it is always changing. How can a sign say fly return to San Francisco for $197.. And then when it's all said and done you end up paying $480. It is an absolute mockery of itself.. How can I possibly respect anything associated with that foolery. It didn't help that the agent was a fast talking, bad smelling, pretending he was on my side kind of guy... it was like it was us against them but he was taking my money. The only thing more annoying was trying to get a ticket on the Internet... That Air Canada website is bullshit.. You fill out all the forms.. You get no price.. Then you send... and you get a server error. That happened multiple times on 3 different computers.. Totally annoying. Then I had a dream that I went back to pick up my ticket and they didn't know who I was.. And there was no ticket. Like I mean it's bad enough getting soaked , but when they got to invade your dreams to give you a second haunting I mean.... I guess it is some time for some responsibility on my behalf.. In a sense I must control my dreams and in some way I must be making myself suffer. I look back to my bike .. I bought it.. It cost too much therefore I hated it... then it got stolen and I loved it.. Then I got it back and all was good. So I guess the lesson is to go to San Francisco and have a good time and be happy you are alive and well... Bla bla bla April 1, 2002 We won the Hockey Tournament beating the Montreal Bruins 3-1 in the final. Roadbed and Stoke put on respective clinics on Thursday night to a capacity crowd at the Railway club. So it would seem that a champion would savor a beautiful Monday and in a sense I did. After drinking a ridiculous amount of alcohol with the team and team supporters after our victory, knocking into walls and things like a pinball would. I then wisely vomited what potent mix was in my stomach and passed out. I had taken a consistent amount of ibuprofen for back pain... and I dodged what was sure to be a mighty hangover. Still I spent the day in bed got up at 5pm and took my stitches out. The highlights of the weekend were the crowd participation during the songs 19 fresh bananas and Roadbed. For hockey it was scoring a hat trick in the semifinal game against Regina... which was almost for naught seeing that we still had to go to a shoot-out. I was the first shooter for our team and I failed to score... thank got for Norm,Neil and Bud.. March 28, 2002 Art as a discipline.. i.e. this movement happened in the 60's and it had this relevance and this is why it is important.. And justifies the works of.. And by studying that I can now do. I don't give a shit about that. Art as a science.. i.e... This is the expression of what I feel, see, hear and what I am.. And there is no particular reason for it other than I am here and alive. I am all about that. March 27, 2002 The rain cannot bother the man who is in a warm dry bed. It can actually act to soothe him when it plays in the rooftop like background noise. A very delicate steady rhythm..... a soft friendly voice that has nothing but good news. The telephone is the real bastard that breaks the mood like a beggar with halitosis. There will be no quiz.. No ape sharpener giveaway.. To busy to get the things done. When I ask as guy if he is playing hockey today and he replies "No way! I went skiing 4 days ago and my legs are burning".. I think to myself.. 1) Your head is going to be stinging from the left hook you deserve for even thinking that. 2) .. and with that, your evolution to a total woose ass is complete 3) get away from me you are a complete insult to the game of hockey. Being in a band and playing on a hockey team one will often suffer the same human conditions.. You put your all into it, others do not, they come up with totally weak excuses and in the end you're fucked because you need the team to be a team. It is almost always the big talkers who fail me consistently... but of course if you don't do you need to talk it up... it is amazing how they never see it. Time is the hunter and it reveals the truth. Music is one thing basically so full and utterly corrupt with scene sucking ninnies who don't have the slightest idea what they are doing, why they are doing it.. And so tied up with the concept of "networking" and "staying fresh" that they become totally typical enjoy mild success followed shortly by total ruin. But hockey is fun... like I mean... nobody our age is going professional so there is no chance of fame and riches... so you think that would weed out the scumsuckers.. But occasionally you get these guys that have either 1) taken too many hits on the head, or 2) have there wives telling them what they can or can't do and are too ashamed to admit that, or 3) find it just too much work an can't admit that. March 26, 2002 A date is an object with respect to this program that I write this column in... Best not to think about it too much. It has to do with the fact that if you want to insert a date like say March 26, 2002.. You go to "objects". Don't worry your head it doesn't matter. As a scientist .. I am looking into a correlation between apartment buildings where the suits all have cable.. And a particular smell... more pressing is the upcoming Roadbed quiz.. And the fact that the printer is down.. But it is fixed now thanks to the knowledge of my good man Gforce. You need to have a document ready to print then find the "tools" icon and you can clean and realign your heads. I had gone insane going through Epson files which will add functionality to your computer by dropping them in your system folder... next thing you know the finder needs your attention. High speed Internet and the fine print. Is it right to judge people by the standards that you hold for yourself? And is anything really worth it (in the context that it can be argued otherwise).... which leads to the idea that Is a pompous intellectual who sits around out debating many worth anything to anybody... I mean sure you can digest some points and use them but does that ultimately lead to an elitist's club that grows soft with time. Stress ball dead from the passing of time... the grave is the garbage can.. Some of the innards still lie scattered on the floor.. Looks like there was a wedding in here. March 25, 2002 There is nothing good to say about a hand infection.. Let me think... no , I can't think of anything positive to say at all. I need to realign my printer heads. This is what I have been told. Afraid to even go there it has the potential for such a grating aggravation. The Birds seem to really be active lately... the sound of spring, longer days.... soon I will be lounging naked on wreck beach. Swinging the hammer like a pro magnum man... ahh a bike a guitar and an infected hand... I need more sleep than the average person.. Does that make me lazy? Or is Lazy just a term we use to motivate each other. If I only had my very own autoclave. It is like a dishwasher that reaches such a high temperature that things come out clinically sterile... It is a machine used in laboratories.. Also your dentist would use it to clean the tools that pick at your mouth. There was a time I thought I wanted to be a Dentist. But that went down the drain when I realized how much annoying work it would be to rise to that level (especially after my first year transcripts came back). Dentists always complain that people don't pay them... that would be annoying. Probably why they're a little touchy about last minute cancellations. Sure you can get drilled with a minimal pain these days but ever get your teeth cleaned by an aggressive dental hygienist who seems to be angry at the world. Don't get me wrong I am as angry at the world as anybody (except for some of those that stand on the street corner and scream.. Although I have been known to do that). Where was i.. oh yeah angry at the world.. Again Back with a free pen and I feel much better... Why would you want to look different? Why would you want to look the same? Do you need a reason to have a certain look? Does it make you feel uncomfortable to be different? ... ahh nothing like a list of questions that have little relevance to anything yet probably have definite answers. Just by existing, can one be a thorn in the side of the establishment? And if so is it worth it ? And is it really revenge or just a bad attitude? ..... I once thought that the ultimate roommate would be a big eater with a bad memory (god damn Norton works just interrupted my train of thought). The idea being that the Big eater would buy lots of food and forget about it leaving me some free food. I still want that.. What a simple fool life I live when it is not dominated by complete frustration. March 24, 2002 Big slack attack.. Well rested and a few things got done... but alas it is almost midnight.. Only 6.5 hours before it is time to wake. There is wind that I may be involved in some ridiculous art show that will analyze societal misfits... My personal photographs were rifled through today and some questions were posed. The great part was that some of those questions were in part some of the things that drive me, and being a man who loves a juicy rationalization, I gave long hard answers.... I showed my films and went into song explanations.... I even pulled out the book "Solomon Gursky was here" that opens up with 2 quotes one being "Cryil once observed that the only reason for writing was to create a masterpiece. But if you haven't got it in you to make a great work of art there is another option - you can become one" a quote attributed to Sir Hymen Kaplansky . The meeting was a classic example of the hunter becoming the hunted... There she was in a chair The Carl Fatman Show playing on the television, pictures scattered, a book open, music lined up ... she was definitely distraught and confused and then she said with a sigh "this is going to be a lot more work than i thought"..... This was even before she knew about The Chronicles, 21 tandem repeats, my visual art and all of the long justifications that go with every bit of it. Who is the Motorcycle Man? was the next question before the tears came. Not to mention that every article of clothing i own has a special functional capability. It was very much like that time i watched a wasp fly into a spider web.... The spider came out like a rocket ready to do it's routine kill but instead the wasp grabbed the spider and delivered a fatal sting and then flew off in the sun to enjoy the day leaving the spider's corpse to blow in the wind. March 22, 2002 What to write about.. a block of sorts. I have been Kind of down and out lately.. And not much happening.. There was that dark mood I imposed at work last week in order to get 2 days off in April which proved to be a successful venture. Like that time I came close to inciting a riot of smashing things... I helped widen the gap between worker and management.... but the donkey's got his carrot and now everything is back to normal. Time to get ready to go to San Francisco... me and Shockk set to do damage.. Just tried to go online to check out airline ticket prices and the rage is back... there is a saying that goes "nothing starts until somebody sells something".. It's Friday night and I'm at home writing nonsense for a website that has no selling capability .... I mean you could contact the band through the site to set up a sale or something like that. Money.. I would like a lot of it, but could live happily with a basic level. It would be nice to be immune to the upcoming unpleasantness... the price of necessities like water, medical care, food, land and probably oxygen one day... maybe not oxygen but you get my point. In France when you go mountain climbing there are big line ups to get to the peaks... cable cars and restaurants... people and money. Living and growing up in Canada we take space for granted.... but now even our water supply is fucked.. Yea there is lots of water.. There is also a lot of pollutants and biohazards... there are business contracts staking claim to the water. Water is a necessity of life. Therefore I need money, so do you stay in school learn to think... as a certain Latin teacher once said: an education is the best pay you can get. If only school didn't have to be so completely annoying.. Like a master catch 22. They are taking extra curricular activities out of school as a cost saving measure... my opinion is that you need to have that.. It is an absolute necessity..... Like when Scott took control of the Hockey team.. Clayton commented "the guy has been coach for 5 minutes and he has already planned a pajama party" to which Scott replied "fuckin rights we need to bond.. that's what's important"... it should be noted he was passing out beers. March 21, 2002 Good things, Roadbed site, pages, life and times 5..."I was thinking...why It was so hard for an employee who is rarely off sick to get two days off in April ?.. and as a result I lost my concentration and cut myself with a knife"...That is what I put on my IOD WCB form.. Management was not impressed and a bad vibe has gotten worse. Things have gotten really ugly.. Time to resuscribe to and old program .. Always have the headphones on... do you job... never get involved in anything else. March 19, 2002 I have a fear of things that bite and sting... It is usually the big things that bite and the small things that sting. Now go to a Canada Post "employee driven" floor plan restructure and you will find something to fear... Discussions of moot points lead by those that happen to be in the business of justifying there jobs. To think that i may be written in a Canada Post newsletter that "Employees participate in an employee driven plan to come up with a new floor plan"..... when it was over I was ill with hate. This is what they do.. First of all let me tell you it bothers me on many levels.... there will probably be about 100 thousand dollars spend to come and change the Floor plan of our letter carrier station. The basis of this is what they call "1 stop shopping" (that was actually said) .. i.e. All the mail (registered letters, bulk mail, flyers, and first class) will be in one place.. And this will keep you from having to walk all around and save you time... (most likely to provide a basis to claim more work can be heaped upon you.... but that's not even my point)... the real killer is that you must make many trips anyway. Firstly there is too much mass... if you pick up something more that 30 lb. and hurt yourself the company will say they are not liable because it is in the book that you are not to lift more than that. The urge to fly off on about 15 different tangents right now is very great... but I digress... too many obvious inconsistencies. March 18, 2002 Got my annual trip to the emergency ward out of the way today... A nice deep gash through the meat in my right hand to the tune of 6 stitches... This will interfere with this weeks hockey outings... an ill timed disaster... but I guess disasters are ill timed by nature.. Except for the time I kind of blew up a mess tent. I blew it up after breakfast .. which was good timing on my part... It was very cold so I threw a few too many Cardboard boxes coated in wax in the woodstove... I guess i didn't really blow it up.. I kind of singed some areas and there was a lot of noise.. it looked great from a distance... massive smoke rings... There must have been a Oxygen intake problem because it seemed to surge with "pops" that got louder and more violent with time. I have a feeling that I mentioned this incident before.... alas the sheer quantity of incoherent gibberish would hide that well... News came back in the mail today that the name Canada Lynx Records is mine to use... just a few more forms and a couple of whopping fees and... Bamb they know I'm in business ready to be taxed like a bastard. Canada Lynx Records .. The master organization housing the fleet of bands that are home to the music of Super Robertson and Shockk.. Mp3.com will host our audio samples.. There will be a compilation record.. Roadbed of course will be the workhorse of the Company... I like the name Canada Lynx Records... funny they always tell you to appear American if you want a career.. March 17, 2002 St. Patrick's day.. Time for some serious drinking.. I mean thinking. I wish people would wear name tags.. My life would be a lot easier if this were the case... There is only so many times one can call somebody "sport shoes" before they ask "do you know my name". The idea of hugging people as a greeting and a parting is something that is always awkward to a guy like me... its one of those things that varies with people.. It can be taken so many ways. It is kind of like an exponent to a misunderstanding... it is defiantly not a standardized thing.. There are some people who you hug when you see because that's the way it goes.. It takes a little bit to define that but once its done it's done. I held a gathering years ago and people were leaving and there were hugs left right and center... I got caught up in the concept and started hugging up a storm... I scared the crap out of one girl in particular.. Then things got really weird.. Kind of like that time I attempted to impose a Puppet Show on a quiet couple in a Burnaby coffee shop... I had to get under the table of course and in so doing rubbed the leg of this woman ... It was a typical Super Robertson disaster.... I had given a few puppet shows that went really well.. Then some hammerhead said "now you have to give everybody a puppet show.. So I did.. a bad impulse call. There is not a lot of people that would happen to, except of course myself, who has events like that on a regular basis. Feeling a little under the weather today.. Mild throat and chest irritation.... alas hot shower and heater cranked and the senses are numb... Willingdon black's phone is busy can't even get a quick "ream out" in .. it should be noted that Hey Rock is out as well. Tonight would be a good night to do my taxes. I have all the forms. I haven't even lost any of them yet.. It could truly be done in a moment, but for my defining characteristic being a "third period player". It's kind of a nice way of saying "last minute jackass".. which in itself is not to far away from "totally incompetent boob". I'll get them taxes done and I'll get money back (due to a slow but steady RRSP contribution plan). When it's all said and done I'll have earned the Government about 6 grand for them to spend on errant conference's, studies and definition booklets. I don't really care just don't come and arrest me for something really stupid March 16, 2002 Barasso is now a Toronto maple leaf.. He is the guy who Shattered the forearm of Yannic Perreaut with a ridiculous wrap around poke check.. The puck was on the Ice.. The forearms were where the forearms would be if you were on skates and stickhandeling the puck... But time is water under the bridge.. March 15, 2002 Somebody to talk at... You know the types.. They like to hear their visions spoken matter of fact like..... The type of people that have it all figured out.. and now they are going to do it.. In the words of Carl Fatman "sure I'll take your business card.. I could use some rubbish paper to make filters with" High speed Internet must save a lot of time... When bugging one of my articulation hero's about not scoring on a breakaway I asked him plainly "did you miss the net" to which he replied "No I didn't miss the net.. The goalie made a scintillating save"... Speed is my game in hockey.. Gives the power to relentless forechecking.. I did look up scintillating and even my original spelling was one "l" off. It means.. Sparkling basically although they took the definition to the root where it is used to describe light given off by the impact of photons... next question What is a photon.. It is a quantum of electromagnetic radiation..... with the energy equal to the product of the frequency of the radiation of the Planck constant. Plank being a German physicist who first formulated the quantum theory.. Lets go all the way with this..Plank's constant is a fundamental constant equal to the energy of any quantum of radiation divided by its frequency. Simple Physics.. Radiation travel's in the form of a wave.. And there is an absolute correlation between wave frequency and energy...... I'm running late so I won't get into amplitude.. The measure of the size of the wave... after all this all happened because a guy didn't score on a breakaway. ... He tried to go high on the blocker side from in close but he didn't get it up enough and not being able to admit that he gave hats off to the goalie and sent me off flipping through dictionaries and old physics books... Breath deeply and learn to love SR Note to Smash.. This was a 2 beer session. March 15, 2002 Nervous breakdowns.. The first one was known as the period in University where I realized that I was fucked! Transcripts are a very unforgiving concept! I swear to god that is why they "heard" people into these massive "weeding" classes... To scar there transcripts and keep them in school for more tuition periods... You want the right to be respected in life well take this... Calculus 20 Average grade was %40... Calculus 23 the average grade was %72 ... After I failed out of calculus 20 (classes were at 8 am.) I took calculus 23 and got %78 ... It filled my math quotient and it never came up again.. It was a n easy course.. But you learned how to do the same math.. Another note is that I have forgotten it now anyway.. Got the concepts knocking around in a very broken way. Got myself some rum!... Please let Smash hate rum so that he can fire me of a letter sharply pointing to its flaws. My second nervous breakdown was pretty much the Knockin' Dog experience.. Once again the concept that your life and ambitions are dependent on a system that in reality you have no control over. The current nervous breakdown concerns Roadbed's inability to work together to produce coherent works... In reality we are fine with a productive output.... however I believe we are working below our potential and I can't seem to find a way to correct the situation.. Maybe a control issue on my behalf but now that I have said that I think it's that things become routine.. Also the fact that when one person becomes slack you suffer from "the rate determining step syndrome"...If you can recall that is where say 4 enzymes work together to make a protein.. Three are really fast and one is really slow. The protein is made at the rate of the slowest enzyme.. Not the average of the four... It should also be noted that this is the Super Robertson take on things and to put things in perspective I was furious when I saw a Roadbed showbill on a pole flapping in the wind because of a poor tape job. OK so I'm a little intense but hey .. why bother making the posters, duplicating them and spending the time putting them up if you are not going to do that properly! Simple story .. Now lets put that back on me for a moment... Why bother to spend your time writing a text oriented website if you are not going to write properly.... If i knew how to I would... I looks like it is too late for me.. I will be forever mangey... Or try this, Why bother being in a band and trying to be successful and then not even applying to new Music west .. the corporate money sucking bandwagon that blows through town every year? My answer (other than the implied negativity well founded by the fact that I have spent 20 bones a year for the past 5 years to be rejected and also the fact that Roadbed does not chase the same short term aspirations as the attendee's of events like this) that was Held at the press Club in about 1998.. It was a festival Called Music Super Robertson..... I brought food , it was pot luck.. My Dad was there.. It was a good time.. Me and a bunch of people shared music and food. I don't want to "get signed" and that is very strange for one in my position. March 14, 2002 To focus or not to focus.. And in the end it's all just memories. Memory is cheap. Would you care to discuss this?... Sure why not I got some time to kill.. Its only 11:30 on a foggy Thursday.. The heater hum's behind me 4 bananas and a tuner are in my vision.. The top part of my vision.. The frame happens to be the keyboard..Danm. I think memory is everything and therefore is irreplaceable. I enjoy writing and playing music.. Both are like trips down memory lane. If I had no memory of the events of my life I would have nothing to write about.. Nothing to talk about.. There would be no experiences to draw on... You could describe things in the present tense provided you you could remember how to do that.. Without memory you cannot learn.. You miss subtle comedy... and if you miss subtle comedy you do not live right.. You forget what annoys people! and that in itself is a double negative... it is best to know if you are annoying someone so that you can stop annoying them once you have had your fill of observing them operate under the stress of annoyance.... I guess it is possible to be human and not enjoy annoying people.. Although our system of living and "developing" seems totally annoying and may work to at least partially justify the cadging irony of being human and trying to avoid being annoyed. Hummm! If I had no memory I could not get annoyed.....i may find some peace... Ironic that i would come to this about 7 lines after starting an ill fated essay on how memory is priceless... March 13, 2002 piss jars and dipping water are two devices to label well... best if there presence goes undetected by many....Don't want somebody to think you are hoarding the Gatorade so they sneak a quick pull.. Then comes the reality that we call unpalatable.. Organic bananas, early morning stretch, and a state of optimal hydration are tomorrow morning's goals.. Practice game tonight.. Big tournament Easter weekend... Also probably the Most prestigious music gig yet.. The Railway Club Thursday before a 4 day weekend.. That would be Thursday March 28.,.,Got both of my bikes tuned up at a total cost of about a Borden.. That is a hundred bones.. An ex Prime Minister Borden is on the Hundred dollar bill.. I think it is Robert Borden... But as usual my facts are foggy. I once (in gr. 13 History class) had to go on film as Borden.. Describing my reasons for doing the things that I did... It was like an address to the nation... Mr. Mallinson was a great history teacher.. He spoke in monotone and chose his words wisely.. He had a dry wit combined with an excitement for current events that was unparalleled.. I use to burst out laughing in class all the time.. It became quite an annoyance .... One time he stopped and said "you know as i was thinking about what i was about to say i thought to myself... should i reword this because I have a feeling that this could set off another disturbance.. But alas I went ahead and now I think I regret it"... then I went to English class to sleep it off.... March 12, 2002 Late night upload... and the thing is that we must start with an updated coherent thought... If you read on you will notice that the March 11 installment is particularly incoherent.... so here is a story to sit on top The Wasp, The mailbox and Super Robertson.... The said incident occurred by a Red letterbox by a school in North Vancouver by Dollarton Highway.... It was my job at the time to empty this particular mailbox every day at around 5 PM.... The problem was that there was a colony of wasps living in the bottom part of the box... these were big wasps.. Probably hornets... I think they were Bald Faced Hornets... they move fast and sting like fire burns... it is said that one of those suckers can sting you 3 times before the pain is even registered... they usually get away too which makes it even worse ( when i get stung I like to grind the carcass of the offender onto a hard object cursing at the smear mark.. "That's what you get you bastard.. You are nothing but a smear" .. Anyhoo I had told my supervisor about this many times.. To no avail.. I was always nervous around that box and I am sure it was there that I lost the key's to my bike lock (in the same pocket of postal keys.. Pulled out on a chain).. because I lost focus.. That's OK it only took me an hour to drag my bike home.. And then a friend came over to pour liquid nitrogen on the lock.. Thinking that would fracture the lock .. Liquid Nitrogen is very cold.. Hence the name Freeze hand Robertson... where was i.. I don't know.. I did end up taking an inner thigh sting and that was deadly March 11, 2002 A most horrible thought, but in fact, the longer time ran on forcing him to look down this avenue.... rethink SR .. I guess the problem was that "the thing that could not happen" happened, and it was such a shock that you wouldn't believe it... but because it was fact it existed... causing a constant presence that made it impossible to ignore.. Which is not a good thing when faced with the mindset that doesn't allow for the conditions caused by the said fact..... that's right folks it's awkward sentence night ... special guests known to have said this at one time.... "I have an ides .. take a cable string it to the moon... and go hand over hand up to the moon.... and then back... Ha ha! wig bally booten.... And why not sing the praises of eutin... probably some sort of enzyme inhibitor" The thought is... Oh my god a fool spoken passage that hints at undertones of unrest who's only saving grace is that it is consistently horrible Bowling.. What a crazy denting experience... You got to drink at these fundraisers so me and all of the "heavyweight" drinkers i know are set loose with the green light to throw heavy balls at things.. Destroying there formations.... In a sense you can almost tell yourself that you are out smashing things..... just do it with great force Out postering tonight for the Blunt Brothers show next Sat March 16... What a good time out on a grassroots operation.. And what do we see Posters made, duplicated and put up by the good members of Stoke... What a good feeling.. Contrast that to fool bands we have played with in the past who do nothing and then complain that on all of the hundreds of posters we have made and put up with our own time, energy and resources.. That their band name is Smaller than ours... to which my answer is .. Of course chumps.. It is smaller... but not as small as our band name on the posters that you made and distributed.. Which happens to be nothing... But that is negative talk an we got some shows to do... March 10, 2002 A picture of shadows on a sidewalk in a frame in a frame in a frame. That is art man and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.. And if they do react with violence. Actually don't do that.. Practice pacifism... the art of peaceful resistance... The angry person must live with themselves... that is the one thing you cannot escape yourself.. So if you are a truly rotten person you will spend your life with a truly rotten person... You are a reflection of yourself... Just lost myself must eat write later. March 8, 2002 Over the past number of weeks you have: -Constructed more cheap frame ups than the entire writing staff of Hawaii 5-0 over the 12 year history of the programme. -Involved me in a drinking binge in which I was, in spite of consuming a minumum of beer, labelled with the tag of irresponsible drunkard. -Performed condescending and mocking impersonations of myself on stage whilst well-meaning people perversely prodded me to join you on said stage. -Consistently mis-quoted statements made to you in good faith. And you say YOU are seeking revenge???? ... Willingdon Black in an Email to Super Robertson... What a wimp.. Try to involve a guy is some good old times and it's just whine whine whine.. March 7, 2002 Dear Sir: ÊÊÊ Your comments are appreciated and have been forwarded to Mr. Fatman for his consideration. ÊÊÊ The lack of basic English and vocabulary skills possessed by both C. Fatman and a certain unnamed member of Roadbed have long been a thorn in the side of the gforceCreative team. From the start gforceCreative has obtained it's written material directly from the quoted authors and our policy -- however excruciating to maintain at times -- is to leave all text as-is incl. spelling, gibberish, etc. I hope this clears up this unpleasant situation from this end. -gforce March 6, 2002 I blame all my problems on a bad back and a short attention span.... Just talked to a friend that told me he could get me into Medical school in a foreign country.. I replied with i don't want to go to Med. school... I almost said Do you realize that I am an Illiterate? Not to mention that the only thing I hate more than people is peoples stupid little problems.. Once again I am joking.. Well mostly anyway... It seems to be that some people have no ability to grasp the concept that it is how they live that has a big influence on there health... That is why people go back to physiotherapy..... because they won't do there exercises unless supervised.. Sure I am an unsympathetic bastard always will be. I stress personal responsibility Just tried to download some mp3 ripping software... what as completely annoying and ultimately stressful waste of time.. My heart is so full of hate right now. I skipped hockey to try and get this fuckin shithole thing done and now i have spent the evening sitting in a chair cursing and feeling rage... deep seeded hate toward this.. Hate hate hate hate..... hard to find software for Mac... you have to read piles of shit only to play a guessing game that feels like a loser's home stretch.. I also fucked my printer the other day .. that will cost me.. There is a saying ... the computer doesn't think what ever it did you told it to do... I would like to kill the smartass who coined that phrase .. To hell with discount printer cartridge's and "free" software I could have been skating around the ice tonight .. but instead I am hunched over this asshole network of popup windows and discount disasters... hate hate hate "C'mon man, I was speaking in jest, eh. Ideally you'd find such moxy refreshing".... there are some new people in the house... a young couple from Montreal who seem eager to ask a lot of questions.... I am not the best question answerer when i am hungry and coming of a patent download disaster... that said I believe my first impression will suit my needs... maintain isolation.. Don't bug the weird guy who lives in the attic..... funny there was so much positive energy in me a few days ago... doing anything in this shithole world is like going to a bank and having them ask you if you are on a banking plan and you saying "i don't think so " and then a teller pulling out a 15 page booklet with all different accounts with various fees and limits... it becomes completely ridiculous.. Do they really think that they are making things easier... i believe that they are just justifying the innate position of being able to freely gouge your eyes out. March 5, 2002 the website is coming along nicely... to many illiterate and unreadable passages.. Need an editor on the case.. One thing i don't do too much any more is go out and write... that's what i should really do... a different vibe a mission and new things to describe ... Hey Rock took the bait like a hungry bass on a rainy spring morning.. i arrived with a different vibe created violence is now fact to describe on paper or chips take your preference.. The legend is strong.. the mood you got wrong.. I arrived at the dinner party dressed to kill in a suit that i found on a box on main street that is put there by an angle The best line of the afternoon was said by a frustrated man while a tentative driver blocked our route.."What ever you're going to do, you're gonna do it really slow!" this was exclaimed with emphasis on "really slow"... it was just so fitting a soundtrack to looking at a guy in a car looking around with the blank quiet passion of a newborn... we wanted to get on the ice early... I shot a lot from ridiculous angles today then fed some passes later once I had established a relationship with the goaltender... It is then that the routine pass becomes unexpected. March 4, 2002 Last week I suckered old Willingdon Black into a Monday night booze session.... got him going on some pints and a little Gforce power .. some CT for flavour.. And then the pool matches and i can honestly say that Willingdon Black cheated.... I know he has been trying to give me that candy assed bull about riding him unfairly... But a scratch is a scratch.... and when he looked over after I caught him awarding himself a "gimme" he did indeed look like a guilty man...... But me and Willingdon Black have got some work to do.. a couple of shows... Blunt Bros. on march 16 and the Railway Club on March 28th....... Hockey tournament starts on the 29th..... all my glory compacted into a short intense campaign... Will I retire? I was thinking about quitting Roadbed today but I don't think I want to do that even though it pains me... Rather than run like a sissy I must step up and show some true leadership... I think we are just suffering from "the routine" and "the roles".... we are failing to capture good ideas.. Now I say that and realize that it is not entirely true but there is a growing trend here and it all links back to slackassery.... It is kind of at the point where i don't even feel comfortable and confident singing... yea we are a good instrumental band and I am an idiot notice the new paragraph... that is what is needed to stay away from the negative cycle because in the end all there is is you because you are a system contained... unable to run wild ... it offends people .... I did a google search on the word Shithole world... there is some good stuff out there... also Mule Hughes is keeping on keeping on March 3, 2002 sunshine, quiet and fresh.... but it is early and I am in a low gear.. Not too sore from the whole snowboarding experience... hockey treats me well in that respect ... until I take a puck off a bone and then everything is a little bit different from then on.. I should sun my hockey equipment.. There is also a grapefruit beside me that could use a complete attack.. Water and a toothbrushing would be good options as well.. There are people that ski down a mountain in a harness attached to a paraglider.. i think that is what it is called... the result is that the person ends up way up high floating around above the mountains .. now that would be fun barring any mishaps... it seems that skiing is the ideal takeoff for that operation.. The other option seems to be running down a mountain until you get enough speed for liftoff. Skiing is clearly a better option.. Sitting on a patio with a nice cold beer watching is also a good option .. Just talked to my dad he bought a new car and was telling me about reading a book called lemonaid it's a consumers report on cars ... he said to me "so your looking at a car in the dealership and all is well until you go back and read that that car often suddenly veers left upon acceleration" March 2, 2002 alpha numeric code.. a code that uses numbers and the alphabet... more variables .. more is better right .. what else did I learn.. Oh yes ... bar codes work on many different systems and for the most part cannot read each other but they are coming out with codes which tell the gun what code it is reading and provided that gun understands that particular code... it is all intervals... no wait it's music that is all intervals.. So I am told... DNA deoxyribonucleic acid.. Works on a code of three .. there are four base pairs call them A, G, T,C and it is a combination of three of those in a row (in the strand of DNA) that reads and dictates which Amino Acid will be used.. It is the sequence of the amino acids that gives the protein functionality. Three forewords run a three on two break with textbook precision resulting in the demoralization of the opponent. Much sun today.. Did some serious snowboarding today.. The real problem being that I am an amateur snowboarder... the thin about getting older is that now i feel no shame sliding down steep moguls on my ass... which beats sliding down them at top speed head first.. I did go on the t bar for the first time in my life.. The first time was a success.. The second time I fell and the tbar dragged me for a coupe hundred feet... people were yelling hang in there buddy... then i managed to right myself and get back up into position which resulted in a chorus of cheers from afar... good to see i can still entertain people.... but then all went wrong again while trying to make a slight adjustment and I fell off it again to be dragged for a few hundred more feet until I could no longer hold on.... the guys behind me loved my style and offered respect and a high five.... somebody else yelled way to go buddy hang in there never give up.. So I did have that to feel good about.. It was the load of snow in my underwear that was the pressing concern. I was very hot though.. Its amazing how much energy it takes to be dragged up a hill by a t bar. I did go back on the T bar and ride it successfully (just so you know that there is no sissy operation going down over here). the T bar at Blackhome mountain goes to the top of the mountain to get to the peak you would have to hike up which is really what I should have done considering that is where the powder lay.... I suffered what i call a "lack of new snow disaster" that carries with it the weight of a hard tailbone fracturing surface to fall on which in turn fuel's the paranoia and Rob's the confidence which scrambles the focus.. It has been a long time since i have been snowboarding (April 2000) so to jump down some heavily skied double black diamond terrain with a faded memory of how to actually snowboard is not an ideal situation... coughing and spitting coke on the keyboard is not an ideal situation either (trying to finish off the swill SO that I can move into a bourbon era) ... anything else to add ... I am naked at the time of this writing.. I am wearing deodorant and my feet are up on an "ape sharpener" .. it is an electric pencil sharpener in the shape of a plastic Ape .. its eyes light up and it makes a chewing sound when you put a pencil in it... March 1, 2002 Incognito and immaturity are good shells for development... get written off and hide in the sewers ... Phone rings and i hear about a Roadbed tribute band ... making grilled cheeses on stage.. all over the place... Hat and glasses.. Loud colors supposedly called B.C Treats .. not all the cattle are in the barn on this one.... not to mention that some of my sources have gaingee perspectives ... gaingee of course not being a word(it sounds better than it looks).... the tree outside my window has moss on it / i myself am an asshole / not sorry and it's true. Gave Jim a good haircut today... man was he mad.. Throwing things ... Flf's feelings have been hurt by me for calling him a sieve and a horrible goalie and now he won't come and play Tuesday hockey so other people are mad at me although most can clearly see that he is being an unreasonable suck.. You see back in the Olympic hockey campaign he was saying Go Finland go Finland.. Predicting that Canada would lose so it seemed completely reasonable to say "what does a little rat sieve like you know about Hockey" and then other things were said by myself and another fellow who likes to kill flies with hammers. I guess i really need to be more reasonable with respect towards how i interact with others. The reality is that i walk around work giving haircuts to people who don't want them ... but mike thinks it's hilarious and he has such a good laugh ... I need to retire from haircuts... toady's was a really good one I got in right behind him and "snip" took a couple of millimeters off the top... which doesn't seem like much but I bet you there were probably 120 haircuts last year. I will retire from haircuts ... maybe it's not that funny to have a man of moderate strength who is indeed a little crazy come at you with scissors... now we have had laughs about it and we have our routine "Jim tome for a haircut".. "No Mack you need a license.. I don't need a haircut" ... There have been some legendary attacks on Hey Rock, Willingdon Black ... but then there are the Vo Bros and mule and smash who understand that this is all necessary. One of my problems as a child was that I was very successful at doing damage ... say if somebody said "lets wreck this house" I would begin thinking things like OK this is all good we can break the windows and kick in the drywall to begin with but at some time we are going to have to focus on the foundations.. And now that you have that drywall out of the way start destroying the wiring but don't touch it ... throw a brick at it over and over again.. You don't want to get electrocuted... now let me think that cement mixer has a good motor how can we use that to destroy... ah the hell with it useless cement mixer somebody go make some cement and let it harden in that rented piece of crap... O had a pretty good arm.. I was definitely wild and I wasn't afraid to prune a guy off the plate... but that's another story and if I recall I was about to speak of the time I put out three streetlights in an hour... it was in a competition of course .. I guess the real deal is that I get too carried away carrying out things that I completely neglect the consequences of my actions.. And then I pay the price.. Which seems to be isolation and neglect which kind of works out for a guy like me.. The sun is setting nicely better go see. Bad back and a royal crown on the senses.. that's right Smash things are about to get weird .. what I really need is a good back stretch but instead I will sit here and ponder.. Or fester some should say... Stop and remember the pledge... March is the time for men to pick up there game.. Plus I am late for a dinner date ... word is fishcakes salad and soup I am actually not really late yet just moving in that direction like a good continental drift. The moon goes around the earth and they both go around the sun.. And the earth turns and rotates on an axis.. And the moon rotates and turns on an axis and the sun is compressed gas on fire .. is that about right and eclipse is when the earth or moon cast shadows on each other by getting in the way of the sun.. A Solar eclipse must be not being able to see the sun because the moon gets in the way.. And a lunar eclipse must be when the moon falls in the shadow cast by the earth... .. is this right he asks himself as he sips himself down a slippery slope. SR February 27, 2002 Cannot find the Roadbed Mp3's going to make me go crazy.. Found some gift certificates for Sears though, one for Zulu and another for Earls.. Looks like Robertson the big spender will come out of his cave this weekend. It is just so completely irritating when you can't find something when you really need it. Ralph one of my vocal yipping hero's nemesis was in fine form the other day missing every puck that came to him.. Managed to get in the way on some rushes.. It drove my good man wild which of course provided great comedy for myself. I think I need to relax.. a nice long holiday from which I never come back from.. We all think that though and it just aint going to happen so get back to work and shut the hell up. A true travesty for our kind the life of a human today is just so ultimately different than it was a few hundred years ago before the industrial revolution... not that I want to shovel coal for 2 cents a day and then go back home to breath in some bubonic plague virus.. I think I would have been a good jungle guy.. a good days foraging and hunting then back to the village to talk with the elders about next weeks battle plans.. a little fire a peace pipe and some drumming... Then I would be mating up a storm believing that it was best for our peoples future.. a little sleep and then boom a leopard is in camp raiding out precious livestock .... I just understood the meaning of the origin of the word livestock. Not having Roadbed Mp3's on my harddrive is ridiculous, annoying, weak and totally typical of how i get things done.. a simple operation becomes like a naked walk through an overgrown cactus field that has high populations of scorpions, rattlesnakes and the odd California Condor. We were camping and the desert was hot.. That is a statement that must not be over looked... this is what i was told and i though i understood but i really didn't... now life is a test ride and i could sure use some air conditioning... this is the end of budgy tall... budgy tall was a hiker... but he didn't know ooohhh hey yea!! That last bit was a joke just so you know ... It doesn't matter because i was trying to work on a desert piece ... an ugly new reality I can't spell the word piece I think I got it that one looks better... the spell check that will occur one day in the near future will reap havoc on that. Its an inaugural line and it came in on time it was one of a kind at the head of the line because you got time so you can't give up Art you play it and you create it through innate understandings with each other.... February 26, 2002 quiet is the sound of nothing .. humm is the sound of a computer working like an imperial guard ..... Absinth when spelt Absinthe it means it has wormwood.. And that is the good stuff that makes you go crazy... This was the thing that was positive when drinks were being ordered .. there was true chaos but I learned something ... there was some tomfoolery about it having to be made in a certain part of the world because the conditions to grow a wormwood tree are found there .. I argued that if man can clone a sheep then an average scientist can manufacture the proper conditions to brew up a pot of visions... A raw note reads .. I just saw 10 sec of footage and I wish I had remembered it earlier.. But I will use it later as I am a problem solver.. Whenever you get stumped you must find another way.. That's where skills of experience pay dividends on their worth... Ugh oh I just made reference to money and the thought of a career in this misfit world. February 25, 2002 Got a Smash ream out coming.. And a well deserved on at that... but on to other things.. How bout the SR take on the Roadbed shows last Thurs. and Friday.... Thursday was the battle of the bands at the Backstage Lounge... it was called Survivor of the bands and we got voted off the Island.. You could pretty much see that coming but it was fun none the less... the winners were quite good... music based on strong songs ... I missed most of the lyrics .. they were a good band definitely suited to the Backstage Lounge ... We on the other hand suffered the fate of being in a bar too long before playing which resulted in a maniac attack.. All heavy fast songs which is hilarious that we were the heavy band of the evening.. Were were the oddball and a bit sloppy but I have a feeling that may have added to our vibe. They run a pretty good ship down at the backstage.... It was a good time Then Friday the tribeca ... Roadbed playing to a sparse dinner crowd.. Had some great improved moments February 24, 2002 Around Ten AM the bright sun bursts through my window reflects off a CD turned upside down and casts a Giant rainbow (or prism) on my slanted roof... I try to sleep off the glory but then its up for a grsande coffee a walk and then down to the Jolly Alderman to watch the gold medal match in Men's Hockey.. Canada Vs USA ..... En explosive crowd (louder than a rock concert)...It has been a long time since my team has showed up with such authority for a deciding game... It was like when the Blue jays won the world series but it was much better because this was hockey. I was in a bar in mannatuage ( a French town in northern Ontario the last time the Montreal Canadians won the Stanley Cup.. But this was it... Mario lemieux missed an empty net.. And it didn't matter because the team showed up... I would say Joe Sakic was the dominant player .. I imagine he was the first star.. don't know for sure.. He really carried the play in the USA zone.. And as a result was in on a lot of the scoring..Jarome Iginla put on a clinic with Sakic and i am not sure who was credited with that goal that just got over... crazy pandemonium in the bar .. It was a real team game.. Strong defense.. They moved the puck out well and relentless forechecking... they got the rebounds.. They won the one on one battles February 23, 2002 dated caught red handed.... sneak in for a quick installment.. Which may find that window the elusive passageway to a la la state of consciousness.. I arrived deep asleep at the wheel of life where fortune turns thy wheel... good thought too much and can escape to an existence of "limber" .... one minute to midnight now which reminds me of the time when I was 14 and I got my first stereo which was a tape deck and radio am/fm/sw1/sw2 for my birthday.. I also got the tape Powerslave my Iron Maiden... my grandfather was over and he took an interest in my stash and wanted to hear the music... so we listened to Aces high.. Got to the line "to kill the unborn in the womb".. and boy did things get weird... there was a lot of disappointment, and fear in the collective adult population represented in the room... then my dad moved in for a thorough screening of the song lyrics.... I never had anything to play or listen to music on before that... there was a record player in the basement and I was allowed to buy an album... I got Supertramp Paris.. And I also manages a copy of Turning Japanese by the vapours. Starting to sound like a Mule Hughes column.... so back to ... And then I said "yea there are too many chickens on this bus to ride comfortably" .. Bill knew this instinctively but hey with a discount faire like we paid who really cares... of course later when I was really sick due to some airborne chicken feces disease i thought otherwise but it was too late... and Bill was long gone.. a traveling salesman lives on the road and is in the kind of business where he calls you. February 20, 2002 Canada defeats Finland .. I almost had a heart attack a 2-1 game and Finland was really pouring it on late in the game.... Spent some time talking to a "friend" of mine today... he has some mental problems and he lived in the area where I deliver mail.. He suffers from what he calls "severe loneliness, lack of love, and anxiety"... he is going to meet a girl and is very nervous about it.... afraid that she will not like him.. Going over his pluses and minuses.. Obsessing .... I try to tell him to just have fun and be himself and not to worry ... he is unable to... after about 40 minutes I start feeling anxiety ... so I go home and sleep it off... and now this hockey game put my heart back on the line ... there was also a dream with a lot of hard feelings.. I had a 2 children and was getting the boot from my "wife"... very sad indeed.... Eh! roadbed plays tomorrow then Friday and Shockk plays on Saturday (Stoke also) .. next thing you know it will be next week February 19, 2002 Old school hockey clinic today.. Low turnout so we played 4 on 4 we had the speed advantage and we played them like a worn violin... we ground them down and made the tone... I did a little holding of the stick as a defensive maneuver that helped our breakout... the guy returned with a slash to the hand which in turn fueled me full of wild anger and I found the strength to score from an impossible angle... That of course was the chronicles turning point of the game.. By the end they were completely broken... The games highlights included a vocal display by a particularly excitable member of our defense squad... I don't even know if i can do it justice.. He screams when we score.. He curses when he makes a giveaway.. He curses when he doesn't score when in all alone... Well today he had 3 breakaways .. didn't score on one of them.. Sounded like an old sergeant barking out orders to his troops.. But we were in a hockey arena on a Tuesday afternoon... 8 rinks. Tuesday 2:45 ..Under Canada Post. February 18, 2002 a flock of kinglets in the tree outside my window.. Seem to be feeding on decaying buds... or more likely insects feeding on decaying buds... In come a chickadee looks like a monster cleaning the tree with authority.... On the television to the right the men's Canadian Olympic team looks ineffective. Alas the goalie just came up big.. Now some of the new roadbed.. Set the lighting... very eerie sounds kind of like a track off of Closer by Joy Division .... but there is a very uplifting b part... I need to make a flyer for the batch of shows... update the upcoming shows... a good chronicles gnawing is overdue... I did too much work today... too much mail hurts the wrists that are aging and linked to an increasing bitter mind... must find someone in the phone book.. An old score to settle.. Make good on a threat ... February 17, 2002 Bass played by fingers when pick is not around.. Why bother even writing that?... it don't massacre big stuff got done. February 16, 2002 a documentation of the most severe sorts is going to be attempted and it's going to be a marathon job yet will still watch like a privative hack job and make me wonder why I give my attention to the ultimate escape like this until I am reminded again ... some good hard comedy... In the western alumni I am listed as co -founder and Head Consultant of National ink.... It was suppose to be National link spelt "nationalink"... I was at the time working with a "Genius of marketing" who insisted it was to be "Nationalink" assuring that screw up's will never happen and that the name of the record company must be 1 word "nationalink"....4 years later I become an Employee of "Canada Lynx Records" the lead guy.. The head honcho with executive consultant given special veto powers Shockk along with his sidekick Two Sticks February 15, 2002 Friday the beautiful... so anxious to experience tomorrow's sleep in i can't even think straight. Getting myself into a world of shit lately... It has to do with time or the lack of time... everybody seems to be constantly disappointed with me including myself.. This is not a good cycle... The reason I am not going camping, or to see Slayer (for free), or out to drink beers at various social functions this weekend is that I have it in my head that there are things that need to be done... Letters to be drafted and sent of to my appointed editors for approval... The next roadbed record needs to be sketched out so that it can be presented to the rest of the band so that they can say "No we can't do that.." And then it can be slightly refined so that everybody is happy... That means a complete analysis needs to begin!!! Work also needs to be done in the creative writing department... The week is for money work, feeding, and basic maintenance so the weekend is for these described activities. The problem ... being an obsessive jackass I cannot enjoy myself if I know I need to do something and I am not doing it... music doesn't make itself.... also since I do love my girlfriend and would like to "join forces" with her I must be very careful. My head might be in the guillotine on this one buy hey "I just gotta be me". Jessie "the body" Ventura when interviewed in playboy magazine said "I don't believe in funding for the arts... if you want to do something hold down a second job.." I am quoting from memory here but it was pretty much like that.. He threw in a race car driver analogy. Arts funding tends to go to the same people and that becomes their job and some become slack... I fund myself and some people think it's cute that i goof around and make dinky little records ( note to smash...almost done the crown royal) and play live shows because "you think you are a rock star" ... but like a real man i bet with the big boys.. On myself... if you really want something make it happen! Visions don't come out of nowhere and armies don't appear... I think of the Vancouver Canucks when they win the bandwagon is full.. When they lose there is a city of critics... and that's just human nature at work... You are alone useless and all wrong until you succeed and then your supporters are everywhere. That said I do realize and appreciate the great support that Roadbed has received.. I'm just talking shit when I should be sleeping... I would probably be mad at myself If i didn't do this cornfed writing on a continuous basis due to the fact that it is my writing exercise and without exercise there is no growth. Today would be a good day for a wasp.. get my mind on a nice paranoia rather than a deep seeded conundrum... I saw a wolf spider downstairs yesterday maybe i should go find him and take a bite.... Super Robertson's spider Philosophy... If there is a big healthy spider in your space.. The spider is doing a good job and let it be. February 14, 2002 Rock star and party are two words that I hate.... because they are empty promises... Rock star is used too much and I don't care for that club.... and Party... there are very few people left who really know how to party... people who are willing to make things happen and keep the pace furious with little regard for anything else and there are even fewer who will tolerate those that understand this. A guy like me would much rather go to a dance club alone immediately get down to some serious rug cutting... and then cut out... try to do that with a group of people... you will be forever trying to move the group... and there could be people in that group who really don't want to dance but are making like they are interested but really just stalling waiting for the whole thing to collapse and revert to a small controlled gathering....Humans are trained to have certain responses.. they don't like change.. they don't want to look dumb. Life is just a big imitation of itself rippling in trends completely loosing touch with common sense. The headline of the Vancouver Province read World agrees: They won talking about the Canadian figure skating couple who won a silver medal in the Olympics... Hey, they had a flawless skate, it had the makings of a Cinderella story (due to a pre skate collision), the crowd was worked into a frenzy... hell the guy even went down for the photo opt kissing the ice and screaming upward... but it didn't happen.. But now the world agrees: they won... the stinging irony... When has the world ever agreed on anything? And i bet you much of the world doesn't give a damn. Happy Valentines day you bastards SR February 13, 2002 If somebody has a stake in this business there is one thing for sure... they are going to fuck me like a cheap whore... from a distance with a long stick. February 11, 2002 SR at you service... make that at my service! what it is to be ... back from a big nap... going to keep the former gibberish as a documentation. Listening to some of the new ROADBED "Roadbed" "Shockcenter" ... we are a Canadian Band ... that's hilarious! ... a song about the plight of the Canada Lynx... when they get released through a reintroduction campaign... they were stressed, malnourished and suffered a high fatality rate Lynx from B.C, Alaska, Yukon have been released 31 have died. God I'm a horrible singer! what an annoyance.... I have to sing by default... as homer simpson said "default! The two greatest words in the English language" ... next question does the exclamation mark have relation to the placement of the quotation should it be "default!" "the two greatest words in the English Language" ... the good part is I am no longer suffering from the well deserved paranoia of the fact that my voice sounds like and says the things that it does! And with that articulation it's back like a raging forest fire... but i just did the old dot dot dot punctuation, giggled to myself, shockk my head and realized that I still got game..... actually I realized a great sea of things then the phone rang and it was Sleuth Reported Oalk Reece ... Where the hell is Carl Fatman when you really need him... I think he is in Mexico City! February 10, 2002 When one does Willingdon Black on stage he is already there and therefore needs not to be there ! It don't matter al long as Willingdon Black was taking the business that's all I care... Lets notice my personal victory.. As I was imitating Willingdon Black others harassed him.. This is a utopian situation.. Possibly one day when I am gone there will be a legion of harasseers to do my god appointed job. In other thoughts breath and live well... SR February 9, 2002 No lock is ridiculous! ... I am wild with anger so I decide to write and in the process found my lock.... time for some Robertson's backcare exercises.. But i think ... It's time to start playing with punctuation. February 8, 2002 Annoying and stressful dream..... I have this ridiculous mail route that has a knack for mail appearing out of nowhere... I end up with more mail than when I started and then its dark and I wake up annoyed but still very tired... horrible... I did not need that on a Friday afternoon Roadbed kicked some ass last night... the good part about the backstage lounge is that when people go there on a Thursday night to drink and hear bands that's exactly what they do... a late night is expected and embraced and there is no hair brained whining about the time and lack of sleep. I am a rock and roller that must be up at 6:30 in the morning. This is a death trip that catches up to an aging bastard like myself. It's 12:30 in the morning and I am hungry.. Very hungry "how bout them sardines"..... It's time like this that I wish that the Chronicles read forwards and not backwards... but hey the other argument is more worthy than a jack ass fool's perspective on a lazy crazy Friday night. There was a bowling function I had hoped to attend tonight but it didn't work out that way .. I am truly saddened by that .... I was looking forward to giving The Mule the lowdown... ever feel bad that you are not somewhere that you should be and want to be but life was just to much and you didn't make the party and then you ended up drunk writing things that should have been thought and then forgotten.... That's me ... But here I am so lets make the best of it.... Coordinating things with multiple people is a disaster when you have the mind of Super Robertson.... I have lived too long doing whatever the hell I felt like when ever the hell I wanted... the problem is monetary... I must work to have money so that I can do what I want with my life... This is a good thing... being that If I didn't have to get out of bed then I probably wouldn't... that would lead to secondary problems some of witch would become irreversible with time... tomorrow I will be on the phone with my sister who will be scolding me in an attempt to get me to move back to Toronto. But for the Shockcenter and all the people I know I can count on... I am to old to learn again who will fail me ... This is a very heavy statement but it is of the ultimate importance.. For every million Jackasses who want to talk you're ear off there are a hundred who speak with action... you need a clear definition of these people if you are to survive as an artist .. An artist has enough problems by nature to deal with than to enter into that brand of tomfoolery February 7, 2002 It's the 7th today?... damn I kept writing that it was the 6th today... I wrote that on a few parcels I attempted to deliver ... this could lead to some confusion and disgruntlement but hey just another day at the post office... My big problem is this nasty rottweiler.. Supposedly he only charges and growls at me .... later in the day I saw the parking enforcement girl petting him and he looked like a happy go lucky pup... damn dog has put the fear into me with a couple random growling charges... and now he is "sensing my fear" I have even been feeding him some of Uncle Battersby's private stash dog bones. I want to like that dog.. And I definitely do not want to go through the next 4 years of random charges. There was a dog in Richmond that pulled this stick on me I ended up maceing him 4 times and then the mailbox got moved to the end of the driveway... this place is a garage and the dog is free to hunt me for the whole block... things will never be good between you and a dog once the maceing begins ... it becomes a true and inspired hatred founded on a total lack of trust ... February 6, 2002 I want to be on the winning team... better than the loosing team. Life is a competition... who can stay standing the longest. My play in particular has been poor lately.. It has been tentative... there is no point doing anything if you are going to be a candy ass about it. Some times too much pickup hockey and not enough game hockey can hurt a guy... too many bad habits develop until you're game is gone like the memory of a cheap whore. That statement had balls but it lacked exactness and was rude and could use a good censoring.... must sleep February 5, 2002 I fear the sardines.. Brunswick sardines in mustard sauce ... Health experts have been singing the praises of sardines lately... High in omega 3 oils ... this is a good thing for metabolism .. so I have this can and I am looking at it... I have worked played hockey and am extremely hungry... Yet I fear the sardines .. sardines are the kind of thing Chris "Chris boy" GATT would pull out after a dozen beers... actually pickeled herring and salted mackerel are more his palate... One time he persuaded me into eating a plate of salted mackerel ... he said thing like "you might wake up with heart pains but just pound your chest likes a man and go back to sleep" ... months later (through telling this story) I found out that salted mackerel is just stored in salt and to eat it you soak it in a rinse water for a long gestation. I feel like Sam I am... fearing the sardines! SR February 4, 2002 so I go downstairs and the kid (13 years old) I live with says "you're lucky because you work and you don't have homework"... I laugh and tell him to write that down and look at it in 20 years. If I only worked as hard in school as I do making music and trying to learn how to write I could have made something of myself .... throw in work, hockey, recreation, exercise, sex and relationships... its no wonder I am a bitter bastard... not to mention the fact that when I worked hard in school I received good grades which carried with it a sense of fulfillment... I work hard now and get treated like a shitass, words and song parts disappear, I face conversations like "have you made your millions yet!" followed by sarcastic grins.... yea yea I chose this... I blame They Might Be Giants, Joy Division and Alien Sex Feind and others alike for my descent into insanity... when I heard those bands and that music I couldn't believe it..... I grew Up in a house without a stereo... and only in my late teens listened regularly to "radio rock"....It was the Rev Dick Badcock (who i could also blame but won't since he has suffered enough) who introduced me to this "alternative" music a few years before that term was made ironic. I use to think "how could you not like this... why isn't everybody listening to this... what the hell is going on here ... I need to go to war ... sign me up to fight for good original music" .... It was at that point I should have been hitting The Organic Chemistry textbook..... The Rev. and I were just too creative.. Now here I am weathered like an old shingle barely holding on. Maybe it doesn't matter that a couple songs sound (to me ) empty and awkward when deprived of their opening lines and chorus melodies. There is a line in the Roadbed bio "roadbed has a massive library of material under various aliases Why? We are required by special pact to inspire each other with displays of productivity".... It is defiantly not inspiring to me to hear mixes with what I consider vital words and melodies missing..... Definitely not productive for band chemistry.... But is it a better son without my stuff .. maybe. I give the benefit of the doubt .. am i given the benefit of the doubt ?... It doesn't feel like it. February 3, 2002 I can't go a day without a Juicy rationalization ... said in the big chill. The new problem...... The new roadbed mixes keep coming back with lyrics and melodies omitted.. As a result the songs to me sound "shit together", awkward and empty. In my opinion some of the better stuff has gone missing. The song "roadbed spirit of invincibility song" once went like this ...Arriving upon the winds/ nothing ever stops once it begins/ and songs they are like diamonds/ speckled with beauty from within....we are strong when we are silent/ we are strong when we listen /together we make a record / common you all must join in .....bla bla bla. The song now starts "songs they are like diamonds..." that melody is an answering melody that starts low and goes high.... the other song "Hey Rock took the bait" once went Hey rock took the bait like a hungry bass on a rainy spring morning/ the legend is strong / the mood you got wrong ..... now the song goes Hey rock took the bait like a hungry bass on a rainy spring morning... I don't know.... the part that bothers me is that I very much doubt that the guy who edited them out really gave them a chance. They told me the song gibbering fool was too busy and had weak lyrics yet there has been times when we played that song and people have sung along in the crowd...... It just don't add up.... It makes sense on this level... He is trying to bother me... because I devote much of my life to bothering other people.. Accepted and mission completed... the problem is we are in this together and our music defines us..... is it better with or without these words and melodies... maybe I am wrong... February 1, 2002 Food eating dream and a fig wasp meets a bitter end but not before some good mouth stings... when I woke up I had a 9volt battery in my mouth .. what are the chances of that. We musicians need a good supply of 9 volt batteries so you put them where you won't forget them ... and then when you forget them they can really get you.... The strange part is that I was eating the figs as a side dish to a fruit and cream cocktail before I got stung... That's how figs get pollinated eh! By the good old fig wasp. And any creature that can hold its own in a south American jungle has to have a few tricks up it's sleeve. Some are camouflaged, others are cryptically colored, some can spit venom, there are constrictors and stealth predators, pack hunters and opportunists. The question begs what was a fig wasp doing in my dream and even worse how did a 9 volt battery end up in my mouth... and how did I immediately make the correlation in my dream like I knew it was coming before it came. January 29, 2002 I hate fido. I hate waiting for a ... fuckin hung up on me... I wait ten minutes elevator music interrupted every ten seconds by some sorry for the wait bullshit... and then hang up on me. Some advise when you call to cancel your service they pick up immediately talk softly and will immediately solve any problems you have... Mine started months ago when some moron phoned me up at 9 am on a Saturday and somehow managed to get me to agree on a 40 dollars for 400 minutes per month... up from 20 for 200 minutes. Note to self ..... be very rude if this happens again something like "yes I am very interested in hearing about your plan options I just have to attend to the kettle... my morning coffee you see" at that time put the phone on the roof and go back to sleep. The new me will violently threaten any sales bastards from now on... the phone rings an offer is given I will listen .. hum and haw then I will try to bargain agree to buy then change my mind unless the said salesman can sweeten the pot .... I will keep them on the phone until my number has a red flag next to it warning that this guy is an asshole and will not buy... but he will waste your time ..... I will mock the salesman .. "can't you get a real job you shit eater ... like I mean don't you feel like a failure having to resort to this line of work ... couldn't you do something productive with your life... I bet you smell bad and you're ugly are you a fatass? ... how do you look at yourself in the mirror ... look kid no offense I did this job once too I was also a stereo salesman at one time but I turned it around, mean I don't hate you but I do hate your kind and what you represent ... like I mean go back to school do something for yourself just never call me again... and by the way I happen to know your boss and I know your name and if I get another call from your company I will personally come down there and rub your face in shit" It would be better if I didn't resort to swearing... but this is a first draft trip. You take a lot of bullets on a first draft trip. On the weekend around the fire the story was relayed Super "man when we got to golden ears and the gate was closed I thought we were doomed" gforce " yea but after a patented Robertson freak out things turned around". Me in a bad mood can really ruin an evening it has this snowball affect. A girl I once dated had it down for a while... when I would freak out she would imitate me.. I would see the imitation and the pure comedy and burst into a fit of raw cackling. The problem was that some things are worth freaking out about because in some processes if a wrong turn is made it becomes irreversible.. The freak out represents a strong line and may induce a reconsideration on others thoughts. Say you are in ICBC and they are trying to give you the old run-around... so you freak out they tell you to come back later... you spend a few hours imposing a dark and edgy mood in the office saying things like "I have all day to settle this " guaranteed you will leave before noon with a close to fair settlement. Are you right or are you wrong? put it this way I have heard a lot of people whining about being screwed by ICBC and I have talked to three that have used the said method mentioned above. The latter were happier people who drew praise from onlookers saying things like "good work basically you have to do that" where with the former people usually end up trying to walk out of the room or offer empty sympathy. .... Now go back to that moment when you are in the ICBC office and they tell you "well sir all we can offer you is this shit sandwich now would you pleases screw off" my point that is when it is time to freak out and impose a strong presence.... unfortunately you will have to affect all in the room with a dark bad vibe which will be upsetting to some... but I say you are right to do that in this case. January 29, 2002 Live life on the edge always one step away from an avalanche. No safety net. Wits and physical strength tested again the senses never get a chance to get lazy. But beware of mountain hypnosis the cousin of highway hypnoses one missed step and it's fall arrest time... good to be boned up on your boot sking technique. Patience is the key to solving crisis wait until the moment is right... don't rush an important move. Like in hockey hold onto the puck let the goalie go down or at least commit to one option then move accordingly. When things are rushed you often see a golden solution moments later ... ****note to all never interrupt a rushed creative blast... there will be plenty of time to retweak later January 28, 2002 No freezing occurred... nothing but pure Canadian bliss. Tents tucked in the forest a raging fire.. And a beautifully quiet snowstorm to visit at my leisure. The snowstorm was best visited in a clearing by the lake. Suffered a mild toe chill Sunday morning but some walking and toe pushups cured that ill. The only problem was that I must have looked like a non attentive jackrabbit tippy toeing through the woods in a mountain range. Ice and snow and salt... amazing how incompetent we (humans) have become. Weather like this has been happening for millions of years... but now we must salt the shit out of the environment because we can no longer deal. My Grandfather use to tell me how when he lived in Ottawa and worked for the bank of Montreal he use to skate to work on the Ottawa river. He never had a car then and few did but He could still get to work and function in his life despite the elements. Our standard of living and what it is we expect humanity to provide for us in a first world nation is very alarming to this man. A century ago one had to chop wood if one wanted warmth.. Then feed an clean up without running hot water. Now we have people complaining about the size of government handouts whining about going 2 blocks to buy a $2.99 bag of chips (when you can get them for $1.69 4 blocks away at a larger store). It's pathetic ... speaking of the Government there has been a massive cabinet shuffle within the high ranking Federal system... Probably so the new ministers can say they were not the problem and are not quite sure how their particular budgets have run into debt. If you are young stay in school until you have truly learned to learn for yourself because it looks like it will very soon be every man for himself ... January 26, 2002 time to go camping .. in the cold snow .. to prove what .. some man vs. nature tomfoolery... I hope I don't freeze tonight. January 24, 2002 "we called our first album that, and we released it without a cover.... and it bombed..." Going waay off the deep end and insulting a lot of people here man. Maybe booze is not right for you? Crown Royal is swill for lowborn hicks that think they're going all-out on payday and living large when in fact their babies are cold, hungry, snot-faced and doomed to be dumb, and worse it leads to low thinking. Trust me and develop a taste for the high stuff. You can afford it, I'm certain. The fine Scotches. Remember Under The Volcano. The walk back from the pub. Dancing on the grass. That was right. The vibrations are unique and clear, not at all the dumb thick kind that leads to such erroneous thoughts. I can help in this regard. You can be reborn in fine Bourbon. Trust me on this. Appreciating fine tobacco wouldn't hurt you either. Forces you to take the time to sit still and think. Then you wouldn't say such silly things perhaps. Smash a man who speaks the truth with an iron tongue It was the comments like "you guys are good, you should release a real record with a cover..." It was the idea that bombed. Smash answered a chronicles trivia question but he was incorrect the answer has to be "shithole world".... a guy with a great temper uses the word shithole very well with all of the right inflections... Like today when a friend brought me a tub of mail and i put it down and it flipped up this plastic and metal "headboard" (that should be attached to my sortation case but is not yet) and the thing came at me and cut my finger causing me to momentarily loose it and in a blind rage I stomped the shit out of that inanimate object.... My rage hero looks over a little relieved that something got stomped and he said " oh yea I hate those fuckin shithole things". He knew that that was the right thing to do an I can see I came very close to inspiring a riot of smashing things. I love smashing things... My best day of work was when I worked for this guy Steve (he had a small construction company) and my job was to go into this place with a massive hammer and literally smash the joint to rubble. There are a couple of clubs in Vancouver that have come close to meeting that fate when they have tested the wrath of Super Robertson... I am usually a hard on to annoy and I often have a long fuse but when it goes.... actually scratch that thought ... I am an artist and a scientist and my ongoing research requires me to keep an open mind to he idea that things must sometimes be smashed. Toothpaste and London drugsthu, January 24, 2002 7:11 PM ..So many thoughts here goes..... Why the fuck so many kinds of toothpaste... tarter this whitening that, gel this baking soda that, extra whitening this control plaque that. ... now think of tooth care in terms of hygiene technique and frequency... that being that personal habits would account for such a greater relation to healthy teeth than some sales lingo jive tomfoolery... not only that but what if the compounds that remove tartar have a negative affect on the liver... think this they put fluoride in the water of populations to keep the populations docile ... it is proven science that fluoride has this affect... so lets say the media needed a story and they used that one ... you could put a picture of some pathetic cretin claiming that fluoride has ruined his life... that's when it is time to by stock in Uncle King Super Robertson's fluoride free toothpaste.... I actually want to talk about how I had to fight the urge to smash up the London drugs as I stewed on this thought... the real concerning thing is how rage behavior is infectious and contagious.... that explains why many parents went through stages of not wanting their children to hang out with me.... especially during my "arson period" .. another thing I wanted to mention was that saying an album bombed is a term used by industry and media to describe low sales... which of course is the only important thing (note sarcasm) so therefore I believe is acceptable. I am tired and uninspired wired I need fire choir boy sits at the alter the polish echo's through the church January 23, 2002 Remembering the shirt-o-mold i take the empty cream container immediately away from my attic dwelling... and out to the dumpster below... There will be no forgetting this time.. a good man can throw out his back in a violent vomiting session. January 22, 2002 A game of pickup hockey... the great Canadian pastime ... except when you have the three on your side who can't skate and this is the end of budgie tall January 21, 2002 quiet is the word of the day... peace no sirens no horns.... I am now away from main and Broadway.... this is the time I think for me.... sleep and a most violent dream.. I go by this bar to pick up a friend (who happens to be hard to get out of a bar) in the process I end up parking in front of a train backed into a fence... there is some grinding but I get out of the way park in a tow away zone and race inside... when I get out moments later I have 2 beer I run back and throw them in the trunk go around to the drivers door and then notice that my car has been crushed and some smart alic guy behind the fence is claiming what we call "proud responsibility"... then i think to shoot him but instead throw him out of a plane miles above the sky .... then my perspective is following him and i get the "dream falling feeling" as he contemplates shooting himself then dives into a superspeed fall... then i think Oh I am watching that movie and my girlfriend is coming over I should give it to her before I return it to get the most value for my rental fee. Then he pulls the parachute and is ecstatic about the rush... we end up back at the scene me parking there again him on the street buzzing happily and this other guy that gave me dirty looks before ... so I grab that guy by the jaw and dislocate it... there happened to be about 10 police officers present to begin whipping us with clubs..... Now across the street from this bar "the whip gallery" which happens to be on my new mail rout (it is quiet away from main and Broadway) is this other strange building which I went inside for the first time today... but in the dream now it looks like Roadbed is rehearsing on the top floor ... of course there is a fire in the building and I am in a panic to get the gear out. I somehow manage to jimmy a steel guy rope down I get the amps and drum kit down and just as I am about to slide down with all the guitars a cat meow's loudly and I wake up ... I am in a bit of a sweat at this time.. And the other key thing to note is that I am very hungry. "a precious position to be in" smash left as a voice message there were other thing said but that one struck me best ... Think good posture, good technique ... handle and practice those .. think.... thrive to survive. January 20, 2002 awareness is overrated.... this advise would be best ignored when crossing the street. I speak of the subtitles of creation... the awareness of your limitations... you see the goal is to be an overachiever. But I think and realize now that you need to be aware of the processes and pitfalls that are innate. I guess what I'm saying is be aware that awareness need not be absolute. I am aware now that there should be a rereading then some deletion followed by a sharp concise articulation of my earlier point.... I am also aware of the point of this exercise and hence will begin some talk about bananas. Delivering the double vocal attack with one microphone during the song 19 fresh bananas the band ROADBED missed some attack. It was at this time I swallowed my awareness of the fact that 2 microphones would be vastly superior. I also thought that it would be good if the guitar and bass players were opposite handed... this would reduce annoying tuning head bumping. January 19, 2002 A one way ticket.. Like being shot out of a cannon at 32 meters per second... a slippery slope straight down with no hope of return.. But why go around in circles if you have been there already January 18, 2002 more photographs... beauty to poison the world... digital technology outdating itself leaving a scrap pile waste.. There will be no turn around... resist change .. you can't teach an old dog new tricks and you can't teach a population of humans anything ... apathy .....We are doomed but that doesn't mean we must go out in a blaze of debauchery. The pocket of life is what you make of it and it can be a warm loving place. I hate whiners statements like "I would but.." And "but I'm so tired.." And "I was never told.." I say piss off to the lot of you... My advise...GO OUT AND BE WRONG.... simple story because the only thing wrong with being wrong is not being able to admit it and hence not learning from it and then comes the whining. Often times through wrongness brilliant comedy can be observed. Therefore by failing to see wrongness thou art cheating thyself of good comedy. January 17, 2002 He was a poet and he didn't know it so he crashed on the shore when he missed the harbor. Who is this? and Why such a blatant rip off? As one travels through the sea of life one can assume a ship like metaphor. But the question begs Why? Think about nothing, think about something, I'm sitting out on several seas, buckled over at the knees, mop up the floor in a second, and salute the captain at 11... I'm just irate.... My bunk is the place where I sit, practicing to knit, get on the jug and go ape, recorded to my Dictaphone tape January 16, 2002 Took a serious ream out from Willingdon Black today... I don't think he wants to be my friend anymore... I can't understand why but I guess them's the way the ball bounces. Must go to grocery store but when I get back make a list of "things to notice about tension"..... 1) feel the silence 2) notice the sharp articulations 3) look for the phrase "can't you understand..." 4) feel the shame You will begin to miss the good times with you're old chum... what could have been, but now is all lost knowing that your destiny is that of a true jackass who has to rock every boat until the fleet is sunk. I must evolve back to being a water creature.. I will be a cartilaginous fish... a shark, a tiger shark... I will keep on the hunt maintaining water flow through the gills... formed in species development by the gill arches..... Tiger Shark.... man killer... never say that because that is how beautiful species become hated monsters and a bad rap is a bum deal when it comes to human behavior. It's all in vain Willingdon Black still hates me. SR January 15, 2002 sometimes I realize that I am just another collection of molecules working together (and failing) to present a coherent ideal existence.... and then the clear and concise deviations from this reality give me flashes of life. The irony.. Nothing with relation to me is ever clear and concise! January 14, 2002 one spell check marathon coming up... cleaning up another mess.. But it won't be too clean.. More like a raw disaster with fewer errors than there was before... need plenty of heat now and on into the night... I think my boss is hating me... I guess its just the natural evolution of relationships where there are different goals "I can't find the black sorrows don't know what it is with them" Willingdon Black..... I assume he wrote that.. there is an outside chance that Mule may have had a hand in that but it sounds like WB the destroyer to me..... I may be wrong here but i did hear something in a bar in burnaby that led me to this analysis.... I hear they sound like Van Morrison (that would be roadbed) I got an empty sleeve no record inside (represented with no cover sleeve and hence no records of events) But I can't find the Black Sorrows don't know what it is with them (possibly referring to the fact that a certain feel of music that runs deep in the rock and roll blood of Mr. Willingdon Black is absent on that record and in Roadbed in general) It is now that i retreat out of this "sense of being" where i can justify posting an assumption like this for the world to see... if they so choose... go to mp3.com and the band stoke and fire up some tracks... the good part is that you won't be disappointed.... listen to Black Sorrows It is now that I am in a dilemma... is Black Sorrows posted if it's not Smash will know that I haven't been going there and streaming songs (a combination of three factors...slow modem, incomplete software, and my anger management therapist doesn't think my health can suffer another download disaster).... My Internet communication is a one way tube... marred most recently by an incoherent clinic of a letter fired off to the CBC in a ridiculous attempt to seize control of a film crew. January 13, 2002 Quiet thought the man / why said the girl / and then the man thought / why is right / oh yea this activity is illegal thought the man and then the woman distracted him with some stimulatory caressing. Love making the swan dance that many don't bother with... what you put in is what you get out... like music and money making and construction projects... an art piece got out of control and became brilliant... and then he fails to see that it was an accident and in so doing dubs himself a genius and understands nothing.. People treat him differently and he thinks that he has become better looking... he demands more and gives less... he is the reason for all success... enter the era of a hopeless jackass. January 12, 2002 Hockey game interrupted by some self righteous Canada post hockey stamp unveiling. Come on boys give your head a shake... one day I want to sing the National anthem at the Air Canada Center.... notice the product placement in this section... one of the stamps was a Tim Horton stamp. Crown Royal has numbed the senses giving importance to the following: Silence.... because it is through the silence that one hears the chair creek and thinks about why an untitled document became titled and why does it show this history. January 11, 2002 curing insomnia physically exert yourself to the point of exhaustion... and it was my Christmas slackassery and the following week that poisoned my routine...hey maybe I an an average guy and I actually do live in an average world... scratch that thought and sleep... now awake and thinking differently kind of like a new blank slate... the chalk dust must have been incredible back in the old days when all students wrote on slates. My quiet time is soon to come to an end was the last thought i had asleep one moment ago. "Wear you art don't let it wear you" a heavy statement for a man short on time... what could i have possibly meant when the decision to write it was made. Probably a Roadbed clothing line sales pitch... or just a messy metaphor that never should have been anything anyway January 9, 2002 Good news... disaster has struck and it came in the form of a pin from a felt poppy... that's right I took a toe joint stab... the whole leg can go into a paralysis as the needle point gouges out fragile cartilage... skate related ankle problems are swelling. January 8, 2002 The bike eh...... well some known properties thief's place was raided 5 bikes were taken one was my bike... and now i have 2 bikes that work and 1 bike that does not. I will donate the one that needs fixing... One time i gave away a working car a 1984 Plymouth horizon... it was welfare Wednesday around march 96' Knockin' Dog did a Show at the Starfish... promoted as "Free car giveaway" with Grover bonehead and third on a match... It was a killer show but it wasn't very well attended i think 96 people... and we got blacklisted as a band the could not draw.. My first cold lesson in Rock and roll... Back then if you were heavy and loud you were good and you deserved good shows and top billing... simple story bands sell beer by bringing in crowds... and when the money is tallied at the end of the night the owner is singing his own tune... once again i hear the They might be giants song rhythm section want ad "speak softly drive a sherman tank laugh hard its a long way to the bank".... i love that line the tank is there to protect the art....I get this image of this slow moving battle and in it the tank inches forward taking direct hits up and down over fierce terrain and then BLAST firing off a round taking out some enemy line. The Roadbed tank gained some serious territory last year...And this year there are some new troops... The beggars, Restore, 21 tandem repeats, Black Hammerhead and the Motorcycle Man. Distinguished journalist Carl Fatman convinced me one night that By organizing this collective one could have tanks firing shots everywhere. John Tweed a veteran sceenster also insisted on a massive release campaign.... We in the roadbed camp were overjoyed to join forces with the motorcycle man after the clinics he distributed during the shindig run 2001. Represented we called our first album that, and we released it without a cover.... and it bombed... An album without a cover is a sure deathmarch let me tell you... I still don't get it and i never will but it really makes a difference to weather somebody will buy or not.... the real lesson is that you truly learn by doing. January 7, 2002 Maintenance....something i often let slip until the task becomes so great it would just be easier to replace...but like gardening it is good for the soul.... Ever spent an afternoon weeding a vegetable garden... you get a very visual concept of small thing coming to gether for the greater good.... It is recommend that one has a good understanding of forward bending.... Inhale and slowly raising arms reaching up to the sky... Exhale and bend forwards at the hips rather than the waist...****don't forget to bend your knees if you need to... Gforce said it best if it hurts your stretching too much. Just did some pacing... now I am dizzy Saw Carl Fatman at the Stoke show Saturday night... insert new idea to self...time to shock back another video.... think those eye glasses that look especial funny on hey rock...and go with that vibe get Shockk in those for the chorus .. very simple almost cut and paste with the food items supported with various solid primary colors and their first cousin derivatives .. fits like a worn cotton sweater January 6, 2002 short inserts so far this year .. no real rolls to have gotten on. This forum needs a sharper definition or at least an in-depth description of a failure... but none are to bee. Or is that non are to wasp... winter brings on the demise of stinging insects in our good land Canada... I a room cleanup I found the carcass of a singed winged wasp... who crawled under my desk to die a few feet from my naked foot one night. January 5, 2002 I talk to her in another town she replies as if she were here and the radio is broken so there are no other sounds except for the creaking of a chair and the rustling of a conscience defined briefly with point perspectives... where is Carl Fatman when they need him the most... getting ready to attack again January 4, 2002 A cleaning of room, dusting and other odd jobs the areas of slack become obvious ..piongnent About ten years ago there was this big push to go into envirnomental science because there will bee a great need... well there was and there still is except the world runs on a different system.. Money... consumerism January 3, 2002 A violent dog attack dream... i was shopping for real estate and stumbled upon a house party with a dog who had a penchant for biting... everybody seemed to think it was cute... in the end i killed the dog and then there were bad feelings and i woke up Roadbed jam tonight ...Review.. so i'm thinking review and end up reading some Nov. chronicals .. got up and close to some of the major and plentiful errors.. And then I think that's OK life is an exercise in error. By following the paths of error one begins to see what lays behind the doors..... after becoming schooled in the forms of error ones judgment's become wiser... this is the kind of thing that pays good dividends I showed my mom and dad the first Carl Fatman episode... I didn't play them the new Roadbed, the new 21 tandem repeats, or show them the Roadbed Videos... they saw an akward Carl Fatman Struggle through interviews and dance in front of Stoke and Motorcycle Man. This one doesn't need any explanation. January 2, 2002 Good people are my family/ fortunately / and they leave with things they have said / that rattle around in my head / direction is found / and the understanding of what it is to live in this world becomes clearer. January 1, 2002 Heater scare and a damp cold morning.... of all the things to happen that give Irony to a new man...wow... what the hell is that... will he try to redefine himself...no The heater's problems began when our hero decided to go to town on some brie cheese and crackers... unnecessary packaging on the crackers and the result was plastic got sucked against the grate by the power of the fan in the heater ....This created an greatly reduced airflow necessary to cool the heating coil.... by god love the fuse mechanism of the windmere comfort furnace..... only after about the tenth try of shutting it off and on in a semi vain attempt to revitalize and just before the trip out to find a new heater after the shower -SR